Time is a Loop

Valerie Stone

2011-12-27T16:01:00.000-05:00

Another drawing, this time inspired by Skyrim's snow-world, and my Skyrim character's bow use. Done with Brushes on the iPad. The second image is the shading and lighting on the top image, that I thought looked cool on its own.

Sonja Reinhardt

2011-12-23T09:39:00.001-05:00

Another DnD character. I kinda really like drawing out the characters I create for the story. Her sister was kidnapped by a vampire, so I wanted to make a few Castlevania references hidden on her: hence the whip and name.

I didn't ink this one, but scanned the pencil and colored it. I worked a bit harder with the light source and where and how it would hit her. I still have a way to go, but I think it is a bit better than the last one. Here is to hoping each time it gets better!

Kyrie Rivers

2011-11-09T18:37:00.000-05:00

Aight, Here we go. Here are a LOT of pictures of a major NPC in our D&D game. I had a lot of fun designing her costume, and edited it a lot. I used her character to also practice a lot with my "Brushes" program on my iPad. I uploaded the original drawing on the right and the color on the left, and put them in order of when I drew them, so you can see where (if?) I started learning and applying art techniques.
Let me know what you think!

eyes

2011-07-28T19:43:00.000-04:00

I've got some art I am piling up, because they are of characters not introduced in my D&D game yet (yes, remember, I am a nerd). But I can post these pics! I drew these on the program "Brushes" on my iphone while waiting for Captain America to begin (which was pretty good, bytheway).

Dungeons and Dragons Redux

2011-07-15T16:10:00.001-04:00

Since the last post only included three of the main characters, here are two more. There is one character left, but he just started, and I haven't really gotten a feel for his character yet. So when I do, I will make an update with his character as well, I am sure.

The top image is with a simple background. I originally went with the below image, but all the stain glass effect is a little distracting, so I tried it again without it. But here are both for your viewing pleasure.

Dungeons and Dragons

2011-07-05T20:10:00.011-04:00

So, I drew another pic of some of the characters in our D&D group during class one day, and decided to work a little harder at cleaning up the pic and coloring it. Because sometimes it is cool to see all the steps involved to get to the finished product, here are all the steps:

First is the pencil version, which I worked on for about 2-3 hours total:
Then came the ink, which took about 30 minutes or so.I scanned this image and put it on my iPad, where I used an app called "Brushes" to color it. (A sweet program that lets you color with your finger! It is very intuitive, and allows a lot of freedom. The great Dean Trippe told me about it a while back). Here are a few of the intermediate steps:
Above is the finished flat colors. Then I added some detail, texturing and shading (still with "Brushes")
Then I put it in Photoshop on my computer and added my favorite little filter (but kept it slight this time, so you might not be able to tell right off). Voila, finished product!Lastly, I added a few more filters to try some "different" versions of the pic. I like them as well, so I thought I would put them up. First a more geometric shape version:
Then a "black and white old-timey comic book feel:"
The End!

My D&D group

2011-06-24T23:09:00.003-04:00

I have been having way too much fun with photoshop effects on my art as of recent. This is a pic I just did of my new D&D group. We just began, so I haven't gotten a feel for everyone's characters yet. I drew this to try to get a feel. I am DMing so none of these characters are mine.

Here is the black and white image as well. I have been playing around with drawing noses differently. Thoughts?

My Pokemon Team

2011-06-10T17:05:00.004-04:00

My pokemons team can't be beat. I know that most people like to say that, and that Pokemons by definition is designed so there can't really be an "unbeatable" team, but I am pretty sure my team is the best. Here is a crazy rendered version that I probably won't like in the morning, (I'm putting it together in bed in the dark right now), as well as the original, pre-rendered and shaded.

Sebastian Weekly

2011-06-05T18:19:00.000-04:00

No words.

Fluke!

2011-04-22T09:16:00.002-04:00

So Fluke is this weekend, and I will be there. I will have some copies of When Spiders Fly, my Thor story, and Bullet-Bill Time, if anyone is interested, come on by and pick up a copy or three! It should be a lot of fun.

Anyways, here is a new image:

Lots of art!

2011-03-25T11:53:00.006-04:00

I finally got around to scanning a bunch of these pictures. I have been working a bit on shade and using different grays and blues to add color to the pics. What do you think?

random post time!

2011-03-17T20:50:00.002-04:00

Some images I have drawn during my history class... Figured I should put something up since it has been a while.

camera-phone pic

2011-01-21T14:22:00.001-05:00

Really bad camera-phone pic of a pic I just inked. I'm pretty happy how it looks, and once I finish the story I'll scan them and show them off to the world!

Thor and the Missing Hammer

2011-01-13T11:33:00.007-05:00

I decided to go ahead and post this in blogger, as it may read better this way, rather than one page at a time. You can still read it here one page at a time. Don't forget, it is a coloring book, so download the images (just don't try to pass them off as your own and I am ok with it), and color them, then email me them and I will post them here!!! And if you want a physical copy, you can order one here. You can also read a short I just drew that features a Thor-like character here. Ok, that is enough promotions, right?

Short Story #1

2011-01-11T21:16:00.006-05:00

Here is a short story I did as I am stuck at home due to Hothlanta. I have written a few stories with these characters and hope to illustrate them when I have time (which never happens except during snowstorms).
Let me know what you think of the story. I apologize for the bad scanning, my scanner is dying. Time to look into a new scanner...

Thor and the Missing Hammer

2011-01-03T21:43:00.004-05:00

Here it is! My new 'zine: Thor and the Missing Hammer! In it Thor goes looking for his hammer, Mjolnir, and visits his friends and family in Asgard. Super-Fun times to be had for all. And it is a coloring book, (or colouring book if you like).
Check it out, tell me what you think (j.kaidyn@gmail.com), and print it off to color it in! (Or, if you are super great, order a copy here).

Pictures from the book signing!

2010-12-05T21:26:00.000-05:00

The book came out today, and I spent all day personalizing
50 !!!!! books with the author at our book signing. The book can be ordered at this website, and is an exciting children's book about spiders. Here is the blurb on the book:

When Spider Fly...is the debut release for Shekinah Press. Author Herb Zabel and Illustrator John Cadenhead have teamed up to produce a children's picture book that provides an entertaining story with some important life lessons. "When Spiders Fly..." shows four sibling spiders who have all been given the same mysterious advice from their mother. The personalities of each spider affect their decisions and thus create some good examples of consequences from poor choices.

Enjoy these pictures of the signing, and don't forget, if you
want to order a copy yourself, click here.

When Spiders Fly...

2010-12-05T20:57:00.003-05:00

"When Spiders Fly..." has now been shipped, and we have copies. If you know me personally, you can easily call me up or facebook me and let me know you want a copy. If you don't, you can order them HERE. Add in the info box that you were recommended by the illustrator and I get an extra percent of the profit, so please do that. And mention if you want it signed to anyone in particular, and I will draw a pic as well if you mention you want one. I'll post some images of the signing party after I get them all loaded. For now, here is a pic from the event:

Thor and the Missing Hammer

2010-12-02T22:53:00.006-05:00

My new 'Zine, Thor and the Missing Hammer, is fresh off the printers. I haven't had a chance to get my horrible scanner to try and scan it, but I will tomorrow and will post pics.

ALSO: I will be at Wizard World Atlanta this weekend, walking around and hanging out with SCADers. (Probably spending a lot of time at the Temple of Cartoon Mojo). I will have copies of Thor with me, as well as Bullet-Bill Time, if you want one or more.

Meanwhile, here is a photo of the cover and an in depth look at the intricate folding process:

and

Random Dude with a big sword

2010-12-01T23:59:00.000-05:00

My scanner yelled at me all day, and wouldn't obey any of my requests, so I don't have anything scanned to share. But I am one page away from being done with my new comic. (Plan is to finish it off tomorrow morn).
I will have copies of the new comic with me at the Atlanta Wizards Comic Con thingy on Saturday, so you can get one from me then. (Gonna go to Kinko's tomorrow to print them off).
PS- The title of the comic: "Thor and the Missing Hammer!" Get excited!
My book signing for my new book is Sunday, and this weekend I will put up some preview pages for you all.
But for now, enjoy a random dude with a big sword (Which I have not gotten around to coloring):

Some newer art done on my iPad

2010-12-01T00:20:00.000-05:00

Here are some images I drew more recently that I just remembered about. These are some characters I am working a couple of short stories with. I would have some more stuff of them done by now, but I got distracted with this Thor comic that I am hopefully finishing up tomorrow.

I did every step of these pictures with an iPad program called "Brushes" where you use your finger to draw. Pretty exciting! Dean Trippe ecstatically told me about the program at Heroes Con last year.

Something old to pass the time on

2010-11-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

Here is a pic a drew a long time ago, but I don't think I ever put online. Put up to pass the time. Tomorrow I scan a lot, hopefully. So then I will have more to show.

When Spiders Fly...

2010-11-30T00:00:00.001-05:00

When Spiders Fly..." is the name of the children's book I illustrated that is finally coming out on December 5th. If you are interested in procuring a copy, I will have a link to the website where you can as soon as it is set up. Here is are some pics to enjoy:

pics

2010-11-09T18:51:00.001-05:00

Hi guys

2010-04-15T10:35:00.000-04:00

Haven't heard from me for a while? Sorry.
I'm working on a children's book right now, but its taking a lot of work, and right now I have almost next to nothing to show for it. But I can give you this teaser image:

Yep. It's about spiders. I'll let you know when it is donezo, I promise.

Also, I will be a Fluke in Athens this weekend, as a guest.

And hopefully I will be turning this blog into something more productive oneday (soon).
Peace-out-britches.

The Torah, The Book of Numbers, Chapter 11, in comic form

2010-01-26T17:18:00.004-05:00

This is a test to see how my new comic looks in the magic of the internet. But it is a test you can enjoy too, by just clicking on the images. Let me know how much you hate this comic, and how much it offends you! Here goes:

Choose your own adventure: 26

2009-05-14T12:40:00.002-04:00

The story so far:

You awoke on an island full of anthropomorphic animals not remembering how you got there. Among the many adventures you have had, you met a crazy old English blackbird, found an otter village destroyed by an evil Bulldog and his lizard henchmen, rescued the only survivor of the otter decimation as well as your new friend, the Penguin Pirate Captain Pierre. You were almost killed by a scary fairy and a black lake monster, and recently have been traveling with some friends, Ox, Rand and Mina to Edgeton, to find Pierre's ship.
Currently, you have all been hiding from a group of Jackals in a ghost town, when Mina goes missing. You find a secret lair underground where apparently the Jackals have been using for a slave trade. You free some of the slaves from the Jackals and send Rand out of the lair with them. The rest of the team goes on in search for Mina. Your group finds what is supposed to be the room where Mina is being kept, but it is guarded by many Jackals. After getting help from an unlikely source (a bat named Bartok you meet deep underground), your group goes to rescue Mina, who you find, but at the same time the Jackals are besieged by a familiar Pit Bull and his lizard henchmen!

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 26

You tell the group that it would be best to help out the Jackals, and try to make your escape when you see an opening.
"The Jackals? But what about all the horrible things they have done to Mina?" says Ox.
"I... I guess we have no choice Ox. They... weren't ALL horrible things they did to me... And if we can get out of here I will never have to see them again. I just want to get home," says Mina.
Ox reaches over and holds Mina. "I swore I would get you out of here, and I will."

"Aw, isn't true love sweet?" Bartok says to you. Ox and Mina quickly step away from each other, blushing as Bartok laughs.

"There is no time for all that. Here is the plan, we will work our way along the wall, fighting the lizards, and hopefully when the Jackals see us doing this, they will think we are on their side and leave us alone. Then we make our escape," explains Pierre.
"Alrighty! Lets go!" yells Bartok as he runs out into the war-torn room, jumping on the first jackal he sees and clawing it. "The lizards! Bartok, the lizards!" Pierre yells.
"Oh, right!" Bartok climbs off the jackal and helps him to his feet. "Sorry about that," Bartok says, wiping off the jackal. "No hard feelings?" The jackal looks stunned.

"Alright, go, go, go!" Pierre yells, drawing his rapier and charging the closest lizard. Ox follows, with a deep roar, and you follow behind, sword in hand. Mina and the otter child keep to the wall, edging along it.
Ox goes barreling into the lizards, knocking out 4 of them with his girth alone. Pierre seems to be holding off 2 lizards by himself, and Bartok is jumping all over the place. He looks like a schizophrenic dancing, but it is keeping the lizards back. He also seems to be mumbling to himself, but you can't hear him over the clanging of iron. The jackals look confused at first from your team's sudden entrance, but seem to welcome the help and don't confront your group directly.
You engage the first lizard, a medium-sized one, with a short sword as well. You parry a few of his blows and manage to get a nice hit in. He drops to one knee and you whack him on the head with the hilt of your blade. He falls down unconscious. You turn just in time for another lizard. This one is stronger, and keeps you on your toes. You do all you can to keep him at bay, but you can't seem to get a hit in. He backs you up to the corner and just when all seems lost, the lizard screams out and falls to the ground. You look and see a jackal has stabbed the lizard in the back. "That's for not killing me and Paul when you tied us up," it says, and you recognize it as the jackal you interrogated from before. "But don't think this means we like you. After we finish these lizards, we are coming for you!" He turns, smiling, and faces another lizard. As do you.
You face a few more lizards, as your group moves closer and closer to the exit of the large room. You continue to hold your own, only getting a few nicks and bruises here and there, nothing major, but your stamina is depleting rapidly, and each attack is harder and harder to parry. A large lizard comes rushing at you with a spear, and you try to jump out of the way to dodge it, but bump another lizard and get knocked back. The spear stabs you in your side and you scream out in pain, falling to the ground. You look up at the lizard, who is grinning and getting ready to stab you again. He shoves his spear at you, and you just manage to bat it away with your sword, but drop your sword in the process. You stumble trying to stand up and the lizard takes another swing. You watch your life flash before your eyes: you see, what feels like ages ago, your life in THE CITY coming to an end, your fight with your girlfriend and the bar you went drinking at with Jim, and the strange woman who approached you that night. Why did she seem so familiar, and why can't you remember her face? And why is this what you remember right before you are about to die? All these things flash through your head right as the lizard swings is spear at your head.

Just then you hear a cry from behind you, and the room begins to glow. You turn you head and can barely make out what appears to be the otter child, glowing bright white, and floating? Your eyes don't seem to be working properly, nothing is in focus, but you swear the otter child is floating, and the jackals and lizards seem dazed from the sight. They all seem to fall back from the light, even the albino jackal fighting the pit bull seem shocked, and stop their fighting. The room gets brighter and brighter and you think you hear a voice, it sounds like Pierre, saying something about how now is the time to go, as something large and furry picks you up and carries you. You drift in and out of consciousness.

You see Pierre and the otter child running up some stairs, and a bright light shine blind you. You close your eyes and open them again, and see Newburry . You look and see that you are standing in the fountain in the square in Newburry. You close your eyes again.

You hear a voice: "...is he going to be alright?"

You open your eyes. You see Ox's cart, with a wheel fallen off and rotten wood. You hear a voice: "...what happened?" You close your eyes.

You feel something soft and furry and warm rocking you. You hear a voice: "what happened, it seems like we have been gone for ages!" You hear another voice: "I just heard the news, how long has he been like this?"

You open your eyes, but everything is very blurry. You hear a noise behind you: "beep... beep... beep..." on and on. You see shapes moving in front of you. One shape seems to be crying. You close your eyes.

You feel something soft and warm holding you tight. You try to move, but your body doesn't respond. You hear a voice: "what do we do now? We need to get as far away from here as possible." You hear another voice: "Our best bet... be a big..." You don't hear any more.

You open your eyes are blinded again. You see shapes that you think are rocks and the sound of waves. Farther off you see something long and blue meeting a different long blue shape. Behind the sound of the waves crashing, you swear you hear another noise, that beeping from before. You close your eyes.

You feel something press against your lips and something slimy in your throat. You try to cough it up but your body doesn't respond. You hear two people arguing in the distance: "...if you hadn't left him..." "Why is this MY fault?" You ignore the voices. You feel something soft and furry in your hands and you try to hold it. Your fingers don't respond and you remember being especially mad at them for it. You think about how you are going to have a conversation with them later on their lack of manners.

You hear voices again. One seems to be singing a song. You can't make out the words, but the song seems to fill you with energy. You open your eyes. You see a small brown room with wooden walls. Or are they blue? You are not sure. You try to look around but all you see are a vase of flowers and your short sword laying on a table. You turn your head right, but instead your body decides to start coughing. You hear a voice: "He seems to be awake." A blurry figure appears in front of your face. "Lie down, it is alright. You gave us quite a fright," the voice says. "Here, drink this." Something gross smelling slides down your throat. You cough it up. "I know it smells awful, but you need to drink it. Here, try again." You manage to get the liquid down your throat this time. It warms your body slowly and your eyes slowly become less blurry. A large, smiling armadillo looks down at you. "We were all very worried about you. Cassie especially." You look up, confused. "The poor girl," the armadillo, who you realize is Mina, continues. "Surrounded by all these men, none of whom asked her her name. Well, I'm here for you now, and it looks like Mike is coming to, so everything is going to be alright." You look over to who Mina is talking to, and see the otter child sitting by the other side of the bed. It smiles at you, and you realize for the first time it is holding your hand.
Your name is Cassie? you ask it. It smiles and nods. You apologize for never learning its name, and it smiles at you. You try to sit up.
"Hold on mister!" says Mina. "You shouldn't push yourself so hard. Rest up while you can."
But, where am I? What is going on? You ask Mina.
"Oh, don't worry. We are in an inn in Edgeton. I am sure you are eager to find the rest of the gang and get situated, but don't overdo yourself. You have been out of it for a while now."
What happened to everyone else? you ask.
"Everyone is ok. Pierre should be down by the docks, Ox is probably off loafing about by the blacksmith's shop, and who knows what Bartok is up to? He may be at the pub, or off cavorting with god-knows-what. Hells, he could be anywhere. There is no telling with that one. Tell you what, if you really want to get up, take Cassie with you. And take it easy."

You try to stand and find that, while difficult, you are able to. You decide where to go first:
A: You could go see Pierre down by the docks.
B: You could go see Ox at the blacksmith's.
C: You could look for Bartok at the pub.
D: You could look for Bartok in the back alleys.
E: You could look for Bartok at the curious goods shop.
F: You could look for Bartok in the town square.
G: You could look for Bartok at the governor's hall.
H: You could look for Bartok at the park.

(The next episode will be on Monday May 25th. I am going out of town for a week, so you have extra time to think about decisions. Feel free to speculate on what has passed, what is going to happen, what day it is, what happened to Mina, and what is Cassie's deal. And if you know anyone who wants to start playing, or has been too afraid to comment because of all the backstory, the next chapter is about to begin and is a good starting point, so tell them to play. I will do a quick recap and begin chapter next on the 25th. Okay!)

Choose your own adventure: 25

2009-05-12T12:36:00.003-04:00

The story so far:

You awoke on an island full of anthropomorphic animals not remembering how you got there. Among the many adventures you have had, you met a crazy old English blackbird, found an otter village destroyed by an evil Bulldog and his lizard henchmen, rescued the only survivor of the otter decimation as well as your new friend, the Penguin Pirate Captain Pierre. You were almost killed by a scary fairy and a black lake monster, and recently have been traveling with some friends, Ox, Rand and Mina to Edgeton, to find Pierre's ship.
Currently, you have all been hiding from a group of Jackals in a ghost town, when Mina goes missing. You find a secret lair underground where apparently the Jackals have been using for a slave trade. You free some of the slaves from the Jackals and send Rand out of the lair with them. The rest of the team goes on in search for Mina. Your group finds what is supposed to be the room where Mina is being kept, but it is guarded by many Jackals. You backtrack deep into the mines to find a deep, dark pit with something down at the bottom, who volunteers to help fight the Jackals in return for help out of the pit.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 25

You discuss the options with your group and decide that the voice in the pit could be very helpful against the army of Jackals, so you throw down a rope for it to climb out of the pit with. You, Ox and Pierre holding one end of the rope, waiting. All of a sudden you feel a sharp tug from the rope, and a heavy weight on the other end. After a few minutes the creature must have climbed to the top, as the tension on the rope goes away.
"Well, that was fun! What should we do for an encore?" says the voice.
"How about take on those Jackals?" says Pierre.
"O! K! Lead the way!"
"Um, actually, we think you should go first. Just keep going down this path, we will follow you," says Pierre. To you he says, "I don't just trust the guy yet, so lets not turn our back to him right away."
"Good Plan! I don't trust me either, and I've known myself for at least twice as long as you have known me! I think..." says the voice.
"I guess he heard me," Pierre whispers.
"WHAT?" says the voice. "Yeah, I heard you. I was joking with the 'what.' It was funny. Haha."
"Alright, lets go," says Ox. "We need to save Mina."

As you march on, the voice asks you all sorts of questions, like who Mina is, what day it is, who is the president, is the milk still good, etc. You answer him truthfully at first, but then begin to realize he is babbling and doesn't appear to be planning on shutting up any time soon, and you begin to ignore him. As you walk, the room gets lighter and you begin to see just what your new companion looks like. The first thing you notice is his large head, with huge pointed ears, and his small body, thin legs and long arms. It seems he is wearing some sort of cape as well that is tied to his arms. You introduce your group to your new friend, and ask his name.
"My name? My nom de familiar? My feuilles de papier?"
"Yeah, that one."
"Oh. Its Bartok. But you can call me Captain Awesome!"
"Alright Bartok, how long have you been in that pit?"
Bartok turns around to look at the group. "Not as long as I have been alive. But longer than most," he says as he waves his wings, emphasizing the point.
Wings? You look at Bartok in the better light. He appears to be a giant bat.
"Wait, you are a bat!" points out Ox. "Why did you need our help climbing out of that pit. Couldn't you have just flown?"
"Huh," says Bartok, looking at his wings, puzzled. "So I am. Who knew?"
"Surely you did," says Pierre.
"Couldn't you tell from your mother or father what you were?"
"My mother was a hampster," says Bartok in response, "and my father..."
"Smelt of elderberries?" you suggest.
"What? No. Well, maybe he did. I don't know. My father died left us when I was very young. He said he was going out for some ciggies one rainy night and never came back. But thanks for making light on my traumatic childhood memories."
You decide not to try to be the funny one in the group anymore.

Finally the group approaches the area with the Jackal guards.
"Shh, we need to be quiet from here on out," says Pierre.
"Okay, quiet. We can do that. Just stop talking everybody, especially you, little one. You just go on and on, and it makes me worry about future generations if we can't keep our children civilized and polite like..."
"I mean you, Bartok. Quiet. No speaking."
"Yes sir, no speak. Me. Got it."
"Good, now start now."

You peek around the corner to see the lay of the land. Huh, that's weird, you say.
"He can speak but I can't?"
You turn back to the group and explain that from what you can see, it looks like all the Jackals guarding the room are lying on the ground, either dead or unconscious.
"Yeah, that was me. I took them all out real quick with my super-speed. Its one of my mutant abilities."
"That and never shutting up," says Pierre under his breath.
Your group walks out into the room. Sure enough, about a four jackals lay on the ground bleeding. None seem to move when you walk in. You look down the hall, but the doors at the other end are closed, and you don't hear any noise. You walk over to the door they were guarding and perform a listen check. You roll about a 15, but because Bartok is still blabbering you get a -4, and can only hear muffled voices from the room, but no context. You look up to your group to see if they are ready. Ox has his axe drawn and nods, Pierre looks tense but excited and the otter child, while shaking slightly, seems to be as ready as he will ever be. Bartok, of course, is off in his own world, and is licking one of the Jackals' necks. Gross. You open the door.

Inside you see a large room with a luxurious bed and fine furniture decorating it. In one corner you see a pile of mats, and some chains, where the captives must have been tied up. There seems to have been people tied up there recently too. You look around some more and see another door. Behind that door you hear the sounds of iron clanking, which you assume to be fighting. You move towards the door when -BLAM!- the door comes flying off its hinges, as a large, albino Jackal comes flying through it.
"HAHA," cries a voice from the other room. "Nice try, but you should know better than to spar with the legendary Santiago!" In walks a very large pit bull wearing a sombrero, and twirling his moustache. "Now get up, you vile cur, and face me!"
"Legendary Santiago? Hah, is that what you call yourself now? says the albino Jackal. "More like the Pit-iful bull."
"Pit-iful bull, I like that one," Bartok says.
"You may have had the element of surprise for your last shot, but not now. Now you face my wrath!" With that the albino swings his massive blade up and rushes the pit bull.
"Huh, that was unexepected," says Bartok.
"What is going on?" asks Ox.
You look around and think you hear other voices coming from the room the two enemies were in. For now they are too busy fighting to give you any notice, but if you were to wait, surely they would turn to your group. You run by two fighting into the other room. Sure enough, there is Mina, tied up to a chair. She looks distressed, tired, and... older somehow.
"Mina!" Ox yells, as he rushes over to her to untie her. "Are you hurt?"
"Ox, is that you? Where have you been? Is my brother here? I gave up hope waiting for you."
"What are you talking about? You disappeared this morning."
"No, I've been a prisoner here for what feels like months now."
"Who is this?" says Mina, looking at Bartok.
"I am Sir James Wilson Bartowski the Third, esquire, at your service Mi'lady. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"Look, we can discuss things later," says Pierre. "Right now we need to get out of here."
The room you are in is a dead end, you look out to the main room, and see that the two have taken their fight to the larger room with the dead guards. You look out there and see that another group of Jackals have arrived to the scene, but they seem to be fighting a group of Lizards who have gathered around the Pit Bull in the sombrero.
"That's a really nice sombrero," says Bartok. "I wonder, do you think, madam, that I could pull off that look?"
Mina looks at Bartok puzzled.
From what you can tell, you are going to have to cross the small war going on in the main room to get out of here. (There is no way to get to either door without engaging in some of the fight.) Your best bet is to perhaps help one side against the other. They appear to be evenly matched, there isn't one particular side that looks better off than the other. You think about what to do to make your escape:

You could:
A: Take the Pit Bull and Lizards' side.
B: Take the Jackals' side.

(Vote by Thursday)

Choose your own adventure: 24

2009-05-07T11:11:00.002-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 23

2009-05-04T15:24:00.003-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 22

2009-05-01T12:29:00.002-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 21

2009-04-27T20:15:00.005-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 20

2009-04-23T14:57:00.002-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 19

2009-04-20T12:48:00.002-04:00

The story so far:
You awoke on an island after a night of binge drinking with friends because of a shitty day. You don't know how you got there, so you go off to find how to get home. After a few adventures you find a village where the natives, a bunch of otters, have all been slain. You follow the trail of whoever killed them and find a secret lair in a cave in the cliff wall. There you sneak around until you find a secret passage, and overhear some leader and his underlings discussing the deaths of the otters, and that there is some spy (aka you) in the cave. You find a passage to a prison where there are three captives, a huddled furry thing, a penguin with a cool hat and a scary sounding thing in a corner. You talk to the penguin, who encourages you to escape with him down a secret escape passage that another prisoner made in the cell next to his. You free a young otter who is too afraid to speak, and a scary jaguar, who guards the exit while you escape. After escaping, the penguin, Pierre, volunteers to bring you and the otter child to Ellestria if you go with him to his ship, last seen due west in Edgeton. While walking west through the forest of fortune, you stumble into some lizardmen on patrol and get into a fight. You manage to disarm one of them, but reinforcements arrive and chase you all to a marsh, which the lizards are afraid to approach. You and Pierre row a canoe you find out towards the island in the middle of the lake, but while doing so a gigantic black lake monster attacks your boat and sends you all flying. You and Pierre manage to swim to the island, but the otter child is nowhere to be found.
You search a small cave you find and inside is the otter child with a mysterious winged creature. The creature seems to know you both and offers you food and answers tomorrow after allowing you to rest underground. But things are not all they seem, as both the otter child and Pierre are a bit creeped out by the winged one. You, though, slowly succumb to her, seeing your friends as horrible creatures as she sucks the life out of you. Luckily for you, Pierre saves you and you all make your escape. As you see sunlight again, you pass out, only to wake up weeks later in a small village in Ladon Fields, south of Edgeton. Pierre and the child apparently carried your body there and nursed you back to health. Now you decide to renew your journey to Edgeton. You decide to travel with two young men, Ox and Rand, on their way to sell wheat to a caravan in Edgeton. While going there, you pass through an old ghost town called Newburry. There you find out that Mina, Rand's sister, had hidden herself in the cart, against her father's wishes. While heading out of Newburry Pierre spies something coming towards your group in the distance.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 19

You tell your new friends that they should turn around and head back to Newburry and hide in one of the abandoned buildings. Luckily there is one nearby with a large enough barn to hide the wheat cart in. Rand and Ox push the cart into the barn and close the doors as Mina, Pierre, the otter child and yourself follow behind.
"We should be safe here," Ox says, looking over at Mina.
"But shouldn't someone watch the travelers to see who they are and where they are going?" Rand asks.
You look up and spy that the barn has an opening near the roof by one of the rafters. You volunteer to watch through the opening to see what happens. Ox and Rand help you up to the rafter.

From the hole you can see the path going east and Newburry to the west. Clouds seem to be rising from the past east, and you watch as some strange-looking creatures come riding in towards town. They seem to be... a group of jackals riding upon horses. Yet the horses are not saddled like you are normally used to, instead they are wearing sack-cloth clothes.
The jackals, (there are about 5 of them) come riding into the town square, which is close to the barn you are hiding in, but not close enough to hear what they are saying. They stop at the square by the empty fountain and dismount their horses. You see the jackals do... something... by the fountain and then momentarily you watch as a creature comes out of the fountain!
You are sure that the fountain was solid stone, and empty of water before, but now you watch as a pale figure rises out of the stone, almost like a... ghost? The Jackals seem to interact with the ghost figure. You watch as soon from the other direction of Newburry as another group of Jackals on horses come riding up. Soon after that come another group from another direction. It seems this is a meeting ground for a large group, and they are... trading or something with the ghost that lives there. You climb down and report your findings.

"So if we wanted to leave, we would be seen by a very large group jackals?" Pierre says.
"Looks that way," Rand replies.
"And the town is haunted afterall!" Ox says.
"Yeah, but why are the Jackals interacting with the ghost? Aren't people usually afraid of ghosts?" says Mina.
"Who knows. But I would prefer not not interact with anything out there. The way they are riding those poor horses like they are... animals or something! Its just too cruel!" says Rand.
You agree, and mention that while the Jackals seem to be hanging out by the town square for a while, it doesn't seem like they are wandering the town itself. We should be safe in here until they leave.
"I agree," says Pierre. "But we should have someone on watch, to make sure."
You all decide who gets what shift watching, and the rest of you decide to try to get some rest. By now it is about night and you have been traveling all day. Mina takes the first shift, and then Pierre, followed by the otter child and then you. Ox and Rand are too big for the beams to hold them.

Mina's shift goes well enough, and you watch as Pierre heads up to take her place. Then you drift back to sleep along with everyone else. Time passes...

You wake up to sunlight. The otter child is pulling at your arm in desperation. You look around. Everyone else is waking up too, and noticing that something is missing.
"Mina! Ox cries.
"Where is Mina!" says Rand. Everyone looks around but noone sees her. Pierre comes down from the rafters.
"What time is it?" he says.
"It looks like morning. Why were you still up in the rafters?" says Rand.
"Its morning? But I just climbed up into the rafters less than an hour ago. It can't be morning yet, we still have two shifts to cover."
"Well it is. You must have fallen asleep on the job. And now Mina is gone. Missing or... worse." cries Rand.
"Don't say that!" says Ox.
"Well I am sorry, but I swear I didn't fall asleep, and I didn't notice Mina missing."
"You WILL be sorry. After I..." Rand gets ready to punch Pierre as Ox jumps between them. "This is no time for that Rand. We need to find Mina first."
You peek out the door, but the Jackals are gone.
"When did they leave?" Pierre says.
"See, you fell asleep and now my sister is lost!"
"I swear I didn't fall asleep!"
"Enough you two, lets just look for Mina." says Ox.
"Ok, but where could she be?"

You think about it and decide to check out:
A: the barn, there may be a clue as to Mina's disappearance.
B: the fountain, she may have been wondering about the ghost.
C: the town, there may be some trail as to what happened to the Jackals.
D: the woods. Maybe she went out to go to the bathroom?

(Vote by thursday. Hopefully this time I won't forget to update on Thursday;)

Choose your own adventure: 18

2009-04-13T15:12:00.002-04:00

The story so far:
You awoke on an island after a night of binge drinking with friends because of a shitty day. You don't know how you got there, so you go off to find how to get home. After a few adventures you find a village where the natives, a bunch of otters, have all been slain. You follow the trail of whoever killed them and find a secret lair in a cave in the cliff wall. There you sneak around until you find a secret passage, and overhear some leader and his underlings discussing the deaths of the otters, and that there is some spy (aka you) in the cave. You find a passage to a prison where there are three captives, a huddled furry thing, a penguin with a cool hat and a scary sounding thing in a corner. You talk to the penguin, who encourages you to escape with him down a secret escape passage that another prisoner made in the cell next to his. You free a young otter who is too afraid to speak, and a scary jaguar, who guards the exit while you escape. After escaping, the penguin, Pierre, volunteers to bring you and the otter child to Ellestria if you go with him to his ship, last seen due west in Edgeton. While walking west through the forest of fortune, you stumble into some lizardmen on patrol and get into a fight. You manage to disarm one of them, but reinforcements arrive and chase you all to a marsh, which the lizards are afraid to approach. You and Pierre row a canoe you find out towards the island in the middle of the lake, but while doing so a gigantic black lake monster attacks your boat and sends you all flying. You and Pierre manage to swim to the island, but the otter child is nowhere to be found.
You search a small cave you find and inside is the otter child with a mysterious winged creature. The creature seems to know you both and offers you food and answers tomorrow after allowing you to rest underground. But things are not all they seem, as both the otter child and Pierre are a bit creeped out by the winged one. You, though, slowly succumb to her, seeing your friends as horrible creatures as she sucks the life out of you. Luckily for you, Pierre saves you and you all make your escape. As you see sunlight again, you pass out, only to wake up weeks later in a small village in Ladon Fields, south of Edgeton. Pierre and the child apparently carried your body there and nursed you back to health. Now you decide to renew your journey to Edgeton.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 18

You decide that waiting until Friesday to trave to Edgeton is probably for the best, and allows you some days to recouperate fully. You spend the days out in the field working with the villagers, repaying them for their kindness of taking you and your friends in. The sun and the work restore your body and make you feel healthier. What luck, the work gives you a +2 to endurance!
The village you are in is very small, but also idyllic. It really is only a couple of houses and two families that live in them, the Smith family, who are Oxen, and the Marks, a family of armadillos. They grow wheat and corn in their fields and trade the food for supplies and such in Edgeton in the north. This Friesday there is a big caravan coming through Edgeton which the Smiths and Marks can make a good profit off of. You and your friends volunteer to help lug the wheat.
The families decide to send their eldest sons, Ox and Rand, respectively, to travel to Edgeton. Ox is a large young man who is a hard worker but has never left the village yet, and is very excited. Rand has made the travel a few times before with his father.
"Now you know how to get there?" Rand's father asks.
"Of course Pap. We have done this many times now. You travel north along the road until you hit Newburry and then go east until you reach Edgeton. It isn't that hard."
"Good. Just remember, don't leave the road for any reason, and don't camp out near Newburry."
"Got it."
"And look after Ox." Mr. Smith says.
"Dad, I can look after myself now. I am an adult."
"You aren't an adult yet, you still have one more Solstace before you come of age."
"That's in like 2 weeks!"
"Still."
Ox walks off to start packing the carts, looking dejected.

You and Pierre begin to help him load the wheat when over walks Mina Marks, Rand's sister. "Father, may I go with them to Edgeton? I have always wanted to see a caravan..."
"Daughter, the trip is too dangerous for you to go. I know visiting the big city sounds exciting, but the travels are packed with dangers. I am sorry, but the answer is NO."
"But father..."
"No buts, Mina. The answer is No."
"I am sure that between Ox, our friends and I, we can take care of her. And a visit to the big city could do her some good," Rand says.
"Now son, I know..." Mr. Marks starts to argue with him, and you stop listening. You remember you forgot your badass gloves in the house, and instead of listening to what you are sure is not a plot point at all, you decide to go inside and get them. Afterall, they do add a +2 to badassness. You find your gloves on the dresser of the Mark's house, apparently recently cleaned. You still hear the families discussing outside and decide to poke through their dressers before rejoining them.
What luck, you find a bag of "healing herbs" shoved underneath some clothes, and you pocket them.
In the other room you search the dresser but all you find is some panties. You pocket it anyways. You never know when they could come in handy. Perv. As you put them in your pocket, the door flies open and Mina comes running in, crying hysterically, and flings herself on her bed.
Whew, she didn't notice you going through her underwear. You assume this means she isn't going on the trip with you, and you head back out to leave.
Pierre is finishing loading the cart with the wheat and Rand and Ox are saying goodbye to their parents. You help the otter child into the cart and thank the Smiths and Marks for their generocity, then the caravan heads off on its way.

The trip begins uneventfully. Rand and Ox take turns pulling the cart. You and Pierre walk beside them and discuss life on the farm, shooting the bull. The otter child rides on the cart, napping. The day passes and finally you approach what looks like from far away a small town.
"Up ahead is Newburry," Rand says.
"Should we be getting this close to it?" Ox asks.
You ask why they should stay away from Newburry.
"Its haunted!" Ox says.
"It isn't haunted," Rand says. "That is just legend."
"Really, then why did your father say to stay away from it?"
"Well, because he likes to spook you, maybe?"
"I've never heard of Newburry, but I have also heard of haunted towns before..." Pierre says.
"You aren't helping, Pierre," Rand says. "Here, I will show you it isn't haunted." Rand leads the cart towards the town square.
"Rand, don't!" Ox yells, but Rand doesn't stop until he reaches the town square. You all follow behind him.
"ANY GHOSTS OUT THERE? COME AND GET US!" Rand yells.
"Shh!"
Everyone freezes and looks around at the ghost town, with its abandoned buildings and dustballs blown by the wind, but when after a few minutes when there is no answer but Rand's echo, you breath a sigh of relief.
"See, what did I tell you?"
"Fine. But I still wouldn't want to stay here the night," Ox says. "Let's keep moving."

"ACHOO!"

"What was that?" Ox says.
"It wasn't me," says Pierre, and you, Rand and the otter child nod. Everyone looks around again, scared, when out of the wheat pops Mina's head.
"Sorry guys, when I get scared I start sneezing," Mina states.
"Mina! What in the name of baby Poseidon are you doing here? You were told to stay home!" her brother yells.
"Mina!" Ox says.
"I know I was TOLD to stay home, but I WANTED to come, so I hid myself in the wheat."
"That is no excuse! Father said it was too dangerous!"
"That's silly. There are no ghosts here, you showed us that."
"Still, there are other dangers besides ghosts!"
"Rand, its too late, the deeds been done," Pierre says.
"I guess she will have to come with us," Rand says.
"Oh Mina," says Ox.
"But stay in the cart, no more sneaking off," Rand says, as he begins to roll the cart again, East towards Edgeton.

The party continues on a bit, and just as you begin to leave Newburry you notice something in the distance. It looks like a group of somethings approaching your group, and fast!
"What is that?" Pierre asks.
"I can't tell from this distance. It could be travelers, or it could be bandits," says Rand.
"It could be ghosts!" Mina says.
"Ghosts?" Ox says.
"What should we do?" Pierre asks.

Your group weighs their options. They could:
A: Stay on the road, but get ready in case they are bandits, or worse.
B: Head back to Newburry and hide in one of the abandoned buildings.
C: Head South off the road into the heavy brush and hope the somethings coming towards you don't see you in the heavy brush.
D: Head North into the edge of the Forest of Fortune and hope the somethings coming towards you don't see you in the woods.

(Vote by Thursday.)

Choose your own adventure: 17

2009-04-09T15:49:00.002-04:00

The story so far:
You awoke on an island after a night of binge drinking with friends because of a shitty day. You don't know how you got there, so you go off to find how to get home. After a few adventures you find a village where the natives, a bunch of otters, have all been slain. You follow the trail of whoever killed them and find a secret lair in a cave in the cliff wall. There you sneak around until you find a secret passage, and overhear some leader and his underlings discussing the deaths of the otters, and that there is some spy (aka you) in the cave. You find a passage to a prison where there are three captives, a huddled furry thing, a penguin with a cool hat and a scary sounding thing in a corner. You talk to the penguin, who encourages you to escape with him down a secret escape passage that another prisoner made in the cell next to his. You free a young otter who is too afraid to speak, and a scary jaguar, who guards the exit while you escape. After escaping, the penguin, Pierre, volunteers to bring you and the otter child to Ellestria if you go with him to his ship, last seen due west in Edgeton. While walking west through the forest of fortune, you stumble into some lizardmen on patrol and get into a fight. You manage to disarm one of them, but reinforcements arrive and chase you all to a marsh, which the lizards are afraid to approach. You and Pierre row a canoe you find out towards the island in the middle of the lake, but while doing so a gigantic black lake monster attacks your boat and sends you all flying. You and Pierre manage to swim to the island, but the otter child is nowhere to be found.
You search a small cave you find and inside is the otter child with a mysterious winged creature. The creature seems to know you both and offers you food and answers tomorrow after allowing you to rest underground. But things are not all they seem, as both the otter child and Pierre are a bit creeped out by the winged one.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 17

You try your best to reassure Pierre and the child that the winged one is not going to harm them. You worry your explanations ring hollow in their ears, because you yourself are not sure you believe yourself. But you feel this may be a way to get home and out of this nightmare, or at least to find out more of your situation. So you tell them both to calm down, and that they are making a big to do over nothing.

But you notice that neither of them fall back asleep.
And neither do you for that matter.

Morning comes, and with it a knock on the door. In shuffles a strange, grotesque small creature carrying a large silver plate filled with all sorts of beautiful fruits. The fruits look to be the most exquisite food you have ever seen, but this may be because you are comparing them against the strange creature carrying them. The creature seems to mumble out: "For the honored guests of her lordship," leaving the food by the door and scurrying off.
You look at the food and realize that it has been even longer since you have eaten anything. Pierre and the child stare at the food like it has grown wings and is threatening to eat them, but to you it looks like the most generous present from the lady of the house. You reach down to pick up one of the pears, and as you take a nice juicy bite the otter child jumps at you, whacking the pear from your hand. What the fuck was that for? you ask.
The otter child remains silent, but looks at you frantically.
Pierre also looks at your face, puzzled. "You look different from yesterday," he says. "Thinner, almost like a ghost."
You look at your hands. They actually seem more colored to you, and your nails cleaner than they have been in years.
"I worry about you, sir. I would recommend we try to escape this place. It is doing horrible things to you."
You reply that you do not know what Pierre is talking about, and you go to open the door.
As you open it, you see floating there the winged lady. She seems to smile at you, despite not having a mouth, and beckons for you all to follow her. You walk behind her, and Pierre and the child follow behind. You return to the grove from last night, and take a seat right next to the lady. Pierre and the child remain standing.

"Why do you not sit down? Have some food too," the lady says to you all. Fruits of all shapes and sizes appear around you, and goblets of sweet smelling liquids. You pluck a nice, juicy grape from a vine that grew beside you and pop it into your mouth. You have never tasted anything so sweet. Yet for some reason, you feel more hungry than you did before.
"We prefer to stand, ma'am. In fact, we would prefer to be on our way," Pierre replies.
"No, stay. Keep me company. Tell me of your travels and I will reward you..."
"Another time, perhaps. Come Mike, we need to be on our way."
You argue against Pierre's decision, but your argument comes out all strange and confusing. "Perhaps you shouldn't try to talk with your mouth full, dear," the lady says to you. You realize that your mouth is full of grapes.
You turn to the lady to ask her a question. You know that there is something you need desperately to ask her, but for the life of you, you cannot remember what it is.
"Ma'am, we appreciate your hospitality, but we do need to be going, and we would like to take our friend with us."
"Why such a hurry? Surely I can be of some benefit to your travels..." the lady politely replies.
Just then you remember your question. You stumble out the words: How... how doo eye... more drink plees!
The lady turns to you, her magnificent eyes stare down at you. You feel like you can see the world in her eyes, and never want to stop staring into them, but just as that they turn away.
"Get ahold of yourself Mike! Look at you! Look what she is doing to you!" Pierre yells. You look down at yourself. Your skin is glowing, almost golden, your cudicles, which were once scratchy and bloody from being constantly picked at, now look pristine. You look back up at Pierre. You think that he is the one that looks different. Ugly and covered in feathers and... nothing like the beautiful lady. You pick up another grape. You notice that the two ugly creatures are muttering to themselves, but you really don't care anymore about the conversation. You much rather care about the grapes.

Just then the larger creature jumps forward and throws a spear he was using as a walking stick at the beautiful lady. You cry out in shock as the lady cries out in pain. All around you the fruits and mushroom chairs disappear as the grove turns from a beautiful place to a dark, dank brown hole. The lady screams out and grows... larger. You turn and look as the lovely lady's wings grow sharper and less colorful, and her eyes, which you had thought reflected the seven suns, now look terrifying to you. Pierre yells "run Mike, run!" and for once today you decide to listen to him. You try to stand up, but your legs refuse to support your weight.
"No! He is mine! He has drank of my cup, he has promised his life to me! You cannot take him away, you cannot break the rules!" the winged creature yells.
"I care not for your damn rules," Pierre yells back. He and the otter child grab your arms, help you to your feet and run for the cave entrance. Behind you you hear the creature yelling and screaming about the rules, and the rumbling seems to make the rock walls crumble. As you all run out of the cave, Pierre and the otter carrying you, the cave collapses behind you. Pierre lays you down on the sand, and the sun envelops you.
You look about you and notice your hands. Your healthy fingers now look like a 95 year old's wihtered hands, and your nails are all covered in gangreen. You worry what the rest of you looks like, as you close your eyes and...

...The next thing you remember is waking up in a small hut. The otter child has a bowl of dark, dank broth which it is pouring down your throat. You jerk up, and spew the contents from your mouth.
"Ah, you had us worried there, friend." Pierre says, sitting to your left. "You almost gave in to that witch's spell."
You sit up and look around. You are in a small hut. You feel frail, but alive. You look at your hands. They no longer look aged, but still don't look healthy.
"It will take longer to heal fully. but these past weeks have been good for you. We worried you wouldn't make it at all. You have the child to thank for your recovery. It seems to know a thing or two about medicines."
The child nods.
You ask where we are.
Pierre replies: "After you collapsed, we carried you off and found an abandoned shed further down the island. We styed there for a while, the child tended to you and I built a small raft. We found a small river that looked too small for that black monster to follow us down and we took the raft down it to Ladon Fields. We are currently in a small farming village south-east of Edgeton. The villagers have been kind to us and let us stay here while you healed. We need to be on our way soon though. If you want to wait, one of the villagers is going to Edgeton to sell wheat on Friesday, or we can hike it out ourselves. The road path will take us around the farm, but should be safer. Or we can walk the beach to Edgeton. Opinions? I know you just woke up, but we need to make a plan."

What will you do?
A: Stay til Friesday and travel with the villager to Edgeton along the road.
B: Travel the road with your companions today.
C: Travel the beach to Edgeton.
D: Know better than to stay the night in an evil underground Fairies' lair next time!

(Vote by monday.)

I can feel it in my bones

2009-04-08T12:40:00.002-04:00

Metric has a new album (Fantasies) coming out in a couple of weeks, and this is their second single off of it. It is called Gimme Sympathy, and it has been playing in my head for the past couple of weeks.
I can say the new album is rockin', I have had it for half a month now and haven't been able to stop listening to it. A review will be up soon on our sister site: Music is a Loop, which is just starting out but you should check it out anyways.

Choose your own adventure: 17

2009-04-06T14:54:00.002-04:00

The story so far:
You awoke on an island after a night of binge drinking with friends because of a shitty day. You don't know how you got there, so you go off to find how to get home. After a few adventures you find a village where the natives, a bunch of otters, have all been slain. You follow the trail of whoever killed them and find a secret lair in a cave in the cliff wall. There you sneak around until you find a secret passage, and overhear some leader and his underlings discussing the deaths of the otters, and that there is some spy (aka you) in the cave. You find a passage to a prison where there are three captives, a huddled furry thing, a penguin with a cool hat and a scary sounding thing in a corner. You talk to the penguin, who encourages you to escape with him down a secret escape passage that another prisoner made in the cell next to his. You free a young otter who is too afraid to speak, and a scary jaguar, who guards the exit while you escape. After escaping, the penguin, Pierre, volunteers to bring you and the otter child to Ellestria if you go with him to his ship, last seen due west in Edgeton. While walking west through the forest of fortune, you stumble into some lizardmen on patrol and get into a fight. You manage to disarm one of them, but reinforcements arrive and chase you all to a marsh, which the lizards are afraid to approach. You and Pierre row a canoe you find out towards the island in the middle of the lake, but while doing so a gigantic black lake monster attacks your boat and sends you all flying. You and Pierre manage to swim to the island, but the otter child is nowhere to be found.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 16

You and Pierre decide to head towards the small cave you see in the distance, thinking the otter child may have swam into it to get away from that lake monster.
"Well, it is definitely too small for that monster to fit into, so we should be safe there. Or at least safer," Pierre says.

You look into the cave and see the water continuing into it is knee deep, and farther down into the cave you think you see a soft glow, and noise that possibly could be singing. You look at Pierre.
"Let's go check it out," he says. "Just be careful."
You continue on slowly rolling a 12 for walking quietly (along with your natural +6, you think that should be enough to not be seen), and a nice 17 for hide. You approach a turn in the cave path, and peek around the corner.
You see an open area in the cave, with a pool of water surrounding a slightly raised earthen mound. All around the mound grow large mushrooms, some taller than you. Upon the mound also grows an ardent green row of moss. Sitting upon one of the taller mushrooms in the center of the grove is one small, winged creature holding a lute. On an adjacent mushroom sits the otter child. They appear to be singing together. As you peek around the corner, the music comes to a sudden stop, and the winged creature looks directly at you. You hear in your head a voice that says: "Come in, Mike and Pierre. Come join us." You look at Pierre, and he nods as you both approach the mound.

"Welcome to my abode." the voice says in your head. As you near the creature you notice that it doesn't seem to be saying the words itself as it has no mouth. Every time it "talks" to you, it does seem to strum the lute it holds with one of its small thin twig arms, of which it appears to have 4 of.
The otter child looks over at you both and squeals in delight.
"We were just talking about you and your journeys," the voice quietly says. "Won't you join us? Take a seat where you like."
You sit down on one of the mushrooms. They are soft and very relaxing to sit in.
"Have some food," the voice says. Some grape vines grow out of the ground next to you and Pierre. You look at the food and realize it has been quite a while since you have eaten anything. Pierre is also looking at the food with great hunger. You look at the juiciest grape on the vine, and are about to pick it when you see that the otter child has not eaten any of his grapes.
"What is wrong, sir Mike? do the grapes not suit you? Would you rather something else?" the voice asks as its face turns towards you, one hundred beady eyes stare at you without blinking. "Or perhaps you have questions first. How you arrived from the world of men here, what happened to you that night in THE CITY, and how you can return? I am sure you have questions too, Pierre DeLaCroix," it, she?, says, turning to Pierre. "Such as, what happened to your boat and your crew, how they are faring without you? And of course, your beloved Marlene, what has become of her in your absence?"
"How do you know all of this?" Pierre asks, just before you, yourself ask these questions.
"Oh I know much more than that. I am one of the Children, guardians of the Winding Way. We see all and know all. It is our job to guide travelers from one side to the... other."
You wonder to yourself, the other side of what?
"I am... glad you survived the Leviathan that guards my sanctuary, and it is fortune indeed that the Messiah Child found its way to my den, and you, its disciples, come after it, but it is getting late and I am sure you are tired." At that moment you realize that you have been running and rowing all day, and almost fall asleep on the spot. "Perhaps we should let you rest, and can discuss your... futures... in the coming day?"
You and Pierre both yawn at the same time and realize this is probably a good idea.
"Come then, follow me," the winged one says in your head. Her? wings slowly spread apart and she rises off the mushroom. At the same time the mushrooms you all are sitting on lower to the ground, allowing you to stand. The moat surrounding the grove starts to dissipate, and you see a path leading further into the ground. Following the winged one down the path you are led to a small room with three soft mounds of moss.
"You may rest here the night," the winged one says, and then floats off back up the way it came. The door closes behind you. You lay down on the moss and fall straight to sleep.

You are awoken later by the otter child pawing at you. You look up and see it and Pierre standing above you. You ask what is up?
"We are both worried about this place," Pierre says. "I don't feel safe, and the child apparently doesn't either. It all seems too... good to be true? Maybe it is the pirate in me, but I cannae trust anyone this much."
The otter child nods.
You do want to know what the winged one has to tell you about returning home, but you also see your friends' points. You look out the door of the room you are in and see that another path has appeared to your right, which leads down a while, with what looks like a light at the end. The path up to the room you were in is also there. You think about what to do:

You could:
A: Wait the night out, telling your friends everything is going to be okay, and hopefully find out more about how to return home.
B: Take the right path towards the light and hope it leads out of where you are.
C: Try to return up to the grove you were in, and exit the cave, and find another way off the island.
D: Other ideas?

(Vote by Thursday. I think I am going to do a Monday and Thursday update from now on, 3x a week is too much, sorry.)

2009-04-01T22:13:00.001-04:00

Our April Fools joke is...

There is no April Fools joke! Everyone enjoy the Talent Show!

Choose your own adventure: 16

2009-03-30T16:57:00.004-04:00

Envy, Todd and that ninja bitch, Lynette

2009-03-27T16:52:00.002-04:00

The Clash at Demonhead are probably one of the best bands ever, inmyhonestopinion. But don't tell Scott that. It might make him all depressed.

The robot is the coolest

2009-03-25T17:45:00.003-04:00

I am a little too excited about this. Where the Wild Things Are, the movie, by Spike Jonze, with music by Karen O! O my!

Ps: Catherine Keener! How did I miss that?

Choose your own adventure: 15

2009-03-25T16:37:00.002-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 14

2009-03-23T13:50:00.004-04:00

Time for another Choose your own adventure episode

The story so far:
You awoke on an island after a night of binge drinking with friends because of a shitty day. You don't know how you got there, so you go off to find how to get home. After a few adventures you find a village where the natives, a bunch of otters, have all been slain. You follow the trail of whoever killed them and find a secret lair in a cave in the cliff wall. There you sneak around until you find a secret passage, and overhear some leader and his underlings discussing the deaths of the otters, and that there is some spy (aka you) in the cave. You find a passage to a prison where there are three captives, a huddled furry thing, a penguin with a cool hat and a scary sounding thing in a corner. You talk to the penguin, who encourages you to escape with him down a secret escape passage that another prisoner made in the cell next to his. You free a young otter who is too afraid to speak, and a scary jaguar, who guards the exit while you escape. After escaping, the penguin, Pierre, volunteers to bring you and the otter child to Ellestria if you go with him to his ship, last seen due west in Edgeton.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 14

You decide to take the straight route to Edgeton, through the forest. You reply back to Pierre, it is called the forest of fortune afterall, maybe something good will happen?
Pierre looks at you, puzzled. "You really don't know anything about this land, do you? Its full name is the Forest of Fortune and Peril. Sorry. I guess I should have been more upfront. Most people know to stay away from forests..."
The otter child nods in agreement.
"But who am I to stop you? Perhaps today we will have luck on our side. It would be about time..."

You look up to the sky, and see the sun setting, and you head off towards it.
"Where are you going?" asks Pierre.
You reply to Edgeton, in the west.
"Then why are you heading east? What, you don't even know which direction the sun sets in? You are hopeless."
the otter child nods.
"Come, I will lead the way." Pierre states, as he walks off away from the setting sun. You think that maybe in this land, what means west to you means east to them. Or perhaps Pierre is a bit nuts. You proceed cautiously behind him.

The Forest of Fortune and Peril, luckily, seems to you just like any other forest. Trees everywhere, pine, fur, oak, birch, etc. Not too much underbrush, you are able to walk freely. Pierre soon finds a small trail which you all follow "west." After a while you start to realize what seems to be missing from the forest. Animals. You haven't seen or heard any animals for hours now. You ask Pierre about this.
"Animals? In the forest? Why would they live in the forest when they can live much better in towns? Sure, there may be some hermits out here in the woods, or perhaps a small settlement, but animals don't just 'live' in the forest. We come here when we need things from the forest, but you don't just see animals wandering around in here. Well, besides us."
You guess that that makes sense.
You decide to ask about why Pierre was imprisoned.
"Why was I imprisoned? That's a good question. I really don't know if I can really answer that. I will try though. As I said before, I am the dread pirate captain Marlowe of the famed Josephine. Well, my crew and I were out sailing in the waters nearby and we ran across this vessel, which looked like the Forerunner, the vanguard of the Mullenhind navel fleet. It was by itself out adrift at sea, and we thought it would be a fine time to pick it off, and save us the trouble of fighting it in the future. We drew up near it, but there was no movement on deck, so we drew up beside it and boarded it. The ship was empty. We searched the ship and found no being, however, we did find a horde of treasure below deck. My men began hauling the treasure to our ship. Some of my crew was nervous, it is quite a strange situation, a ship with a fortune on it and no beings at all, not even corpses. Rumors began flying about it being a ghost ship. I tried to quiet the rumors, but you know how men are. Well, matters only got worse when one of my crew, Jimmers, said he heard voices below. Now all the men were frightened, and none would go below deck. I told them to man up, and went below deck to show them there was nothing there..."
The otter child pulls at your arm, he seems to be scared by the story.
"And what happened below deck I will not tell you. Mostly for the reason that I don't remember. The next moment I remember after walking below deck was waking up on the shore of this island, with those lizardmen standing above me. They hauled me off to jail, and thats where you found me. So, yes, to make a long story short,"
Too late, you think, and high five yourself for referencing Clue.
"I really don't know why I was imprisoned." Pierre states. "Does that help explain the situation?"
You are about to ask why Pierre thinks his ship is at Edgeton if he lost it at sea somewhere, when you notice the otter child is still tugging at your arm. You look down at it. It points off to your left. You see some movement in the bushes in the distance, and you turn to Pierre.
"Yeah, I see it boyo. Get ready, something is coming."

Out of the bushes come two lizardmen. One is carrying a rapier, and the other has a spear. They look at you all menacingly, mutter to each other, then draw their weapons and make ready to attack you. You make ready to run.
"We won't be able to get away from them, lad. Our best bet is to attack them head on, and hope they are just a search party, and there are no more of them near. We should be able to handle two of them."

You draw your knife as the otter child hides behind you. The otter with the spear comes rushing at you. What do you do?

A: Throw your knife at its face.
B: Wait for the lizardman to get close, then jump quickly to the side, and stab your knife at its foot.
C: Try to disarm the lizardman when he gets close.
D: Run away!
E: Throw your hands in the air, and surrender.
F: Feel free to submit your own option too.

I am sure some of you want some stats on your character, so I will work a full one up soon. Here are basic stats:
LVL: 1
HP: 24
MP: o
ATK: 4
DEF: 2
MGC: 1
MDF: 0
AGL: 3
LCK: 3

Weapon: Knife
Armor: Plain Clothes
Badass Gloves

(Remember to vote before wednesday.)

Choose your own adventure: 13

2009-03-20T13:47:00.002-04:00

The story so far:
You awoke on an island after a night of binge drinking with friends because of a shitty day. You don't know how you got there, so you go off to find how to get home. After a few adventures you find a village where the natives, a bunch of otters, have all been slain. You follow the trail of whoever killed them and find a secret lair in a cave in the cliff wall. There you sneak around until you find a secret passage, and overhear some leader and his underlings discussing the deaths of the otters, and that there is some spy (aka you) in the cave. You find a passage to a prison where there are three captives, a huddled furry thing, a penguin with a cool hat and a scary sounding thing in a corner. You talk to the penguin, who encourages you to escape with him down a secret escape passage that another prisoner made in the cell next to his.

Now begins Time is a Loop: Episode 13

You decide following the penguin out of here is probably going to be the best option you have at this point, but you still don't know what happened to the otters. You tell the penguin to listen by the door as you go check out the other prisoners. Perhaps they can help you, or maybe they know what happened to the otters.
"Okay, but hurry! I don't want to be stuck here any much longer! Take too long and I am going without you." he says.
You quickly weigh your options, and decide that the left cell, with the huddled ball of fur, is probably going to be easier to convince to escape, or at least will not eat you. You head over to the cell and peek in. The fur looks up at you. It seems to be a young otter, covering itself in a dirty green cloth.
"..." it says.
You explain to not be scared, and that you are here to help it escape.
"..." it says. But it looks interested.
You open the lock with the key, and help the otter to its feet. It looks at you in thanks, but still doesn't talk. You walk it to the empty cell where the passage is supposed to be.
"Hmm. So I was right. It was an otter child in the cell next to me." the penguin says, looking at the child. "Could use some cleaning up though. I guess I shouldn't complain, one can get pretty dirty in a cell. Look at me."
You look at the penguin. He looks very clean. And distinguished.
You ask how they are doing for time. The penguin says "I have nay heard anything yet, but better to play it safe than sorry. We should head out now."
You tell him to wait, you want to check on the other prisoner.
"Really? That sounds like a terrible idea. I really don't want to deal with... whatever is in there."

You think about it, but are determined. You are sure it is just a wrongfully accused animal. Afterall, why would bad guys imprison another bad guy? So you walk, quietly and carefully, towards the door. You may want to free the creature, but you are not stupid.

As you get closer, you can see what is in the cell. And it sees you. As it bares its fangs at you, you try to decide if freeing a jaguar is a good idea. You approach the cell cautiously, and greet the animal. You explain that you are here to free it, and if it would like to escape its cell and promise not to eat you and your companions, you would be more than happy to open the cell.
"Grrr... Why would you think I would eat you?" it growls at you. Behind the growl seems to be a hint of a smile.
You explain that maybe you are completely in the wrong, perhaps sir jaguar would not eat you or your companions, but you just didn't want to take any chances.
"Why don't you free me, and you will see if I eat you or not?"
You think that doesn't seem to be a good argument. You tell the jaguar that if he promises to not hurt any of you, you will open the door.
"Open the door if you like, but I will make no promises until I see who your companions are."

This doesn't seem to be a good idea.

"Hey kiddo, somethings coming... Whoa, so that's what was making all that noise!" the penguin says as he approaches. "We need to get out of here. Leave that beast."
"Beast? Really. How polite you are." The jaguar says, licking its paw.
"Sorry sir, its just... My mother always said to never trust a carnivore."
You think to yourself, aren't penguins carnivores?
"Well, anyways, we need to go, now. That little otter kid is laying on the floor, freaking out."
You look over, the poor otter is crying in a ball on the floor. You tell the jaguar that this is his last chance.
"Fine. Have it your way." he says.
You open the lock.
"This is a terrible idea." the penguin says. "But too late now. Nice to meet you, sir jaguar. Now follow me everyone, lets get out of here." He walks into the empty cell, pulls a rock aside, and reveals a path. "Follow me" he says. You help the otter to its feet, it seems especially freaked out about the jaguar. You send the otter down the space after the penguin.

Now you and the jaguar are alone in the cell.

It looks at you and licks its lips. It seems to be smiling.

You remember how you thought this was a bad idea.

"Go on, human. I will take the rear." it says.

You are hesitant to turn your back to it, though. You hear noises in the hall.

"Go now. I can take the lizards. I will follow up after." it says as it turns towards the door. "Also, thanks for freeing me." It starts growling, then lets out a loud snarl. You turn and escape down the passage. Behind you you hear lizardmen open the door, and then voices: "Boakes is free! Boakes is free, run for it!" After that you hear yelling and screaming, and then, as you get further down the passage, silence.
You continue to crawl down the passage, it gets darker and darker, and narrower and narrower, but finally you seem to be crawling upwards, and then finally, you see light. You crawl out of the ground to see a wooded grove. Seated on a fallen log are the penguin and the otter child. You approach them.
"So you made it out alive. We were worried." the penguin says. "Congratulations. Where is the jaguar?"
You explain it stayed to fight the lizardmen.
"I guess it probably hated them more than it wanted to eat us. Anyways, now that we are free, what to do now? I am going to head back to finding my ship. I don't know what your plans are, but if you are going my way, I would welcome a traveling companion. And I should thank you for rescuing me. Once I find my ship, you will be hansomely rewarded."
You ask about his ship.
"Oh yes, I guess I haven't even introduced myself yet. My name is Pierre DeLaCroix, but you may know of me better as Captain Marlowe of the famed ship Josephine. At your service."
You bow back to the penguin, and ask Sir Marlowe where his ship is.
"Just call me Pierre, my lad. You have earned it. Last time i saw my ship it was... west of here. If we are where I think we are."
You ask Pierre where that would be.
"I believe we are on the outskirts of the forest of fortune. To the north is the mountains of woe, and past them is the capital, Ellestria. To the west is the port town, Edgeton, which is where I am planning to head."
You then look at the young otter, who seems to have brightened up after hearing Ellestria. You ask it if that is where it wants to go. It nods in reply.
"Poor child. It seems to have clamed up after all the horror it has seen. I tried conversing with it while waiting for you, but even after hours and hours, it wouldn't respond to anything. Ellestria seems to be the first thing it has responed to. Do you have family there, child?" Pierre asks. It nods. "Hmm. Well, I guess, as an honored gentleman, it would be my duty to take you there. I will do my best to get you to your family. Now, what about you, sir. Where are you going?"

You explain your story to the two animals, and then think about your options. Pierre suggests two possible ways to get to Edgeton from where you are:

A: Going through the forest of fortune
B: Going south to the main road, then traveling west.
C: Or you could go north and take the child straight to his family without Pierre.
D: You could also wait around to see if the jaguar shows up. But who knows if it is still hungry?
E: You could also head back to the otter village, although that seems like a mean thing to bring the otter child back to.

(Reply with your vote before monday.)

Fansterpiece

2009-03-19T16:15:00.001-04:00

So our video Time is a Loop made for the Flight of the Conchords contest made it into the FINAL FANSTERPIECE. It was played on HBO last night after the Flight of the Conchords episodes, and you can see it above. Yeah. Go Team.

D&D cast

2009-03-19T16:09:00.002-04:00

The dungeons and dragons cast. Featuring: Drinkso McElf, Turino the Barbarian, Roy the Monk, The Halfling Rogue whose name I never remember, and Peebearr, the druid, with his wolf, Red XIV.

Choose your own adventure: 12

2009-03-19T00:08:00.002-04:00

Choose your own adventure: 11

2009-03-16T14:14:00.004-04:00

Despite a great want to jump out screaming, you decide to try to cut a hole in the tapestry to see what is out there before you make yourself known. You take out the knife and press it against the tapestry. Luckily the cloth is tied down both on the floor and ceiling, otherwise this would be futile. It is still difficult to do, and you feel you may have made moved the curtain a lot in doing so, but you manage to cut a small hole, big enough for your eye to see through. This is what you see:

You ready?

You see 12 lizardmen with large swords and spears all pointed at the tapestry. Holy Shit!

JK hahaha. This is what you really see:

You see a large room with tapestries on the walls, a red rug on the ground and a large chair on the right. On the tapestries are depicted wildlife nature scenes, of hunting and stuff like that. You don't really take in any details. You are more focused on what is sitting in the chair.
In the chair is a large, very ugly dog, wearing a sombrero. You find the sombrero kinda amusing, but you are much to intimidated by the pit bull that is as big as you, sombrero notwithstanding.

Anyways, it seems the dog has not noticed you yet, despite your cutting at fabric over to his left. He seems lost in thought, with his head resting in his hands, er I guess paws. While you are frightened of him, and hope against everything you are not seen, you also feel bad for him. He seems to be genuinely upset about something.
You hold completely still for a while, trying your best not to breathe, for what seem like hours. Finally, the dog gets up, stretches, and walks to your left, where you think you can see a door. He pauses, breathes deeply, then slams the door open and yells: "Have you lazy sacks of shit found the spy yet? No? Well get searching before I rip your jaws off!" The door slams behind him.
Weird.

You don't see anything else in the room, so you decide to peek around from behind the curtain. You still don't see anything, but now you see the room better. There is another door in the back, with a little light shining through it. You decide that is a better idea than the front door the dog walked through.

You quietly open the door and peek through. On the other side you see a long hallway, lit sporadically with torches. Despite the torches it is still quite dark in the hall. Far to the end you see another door. This one not as fancy as the one you went through, it seems to be just a plank and a handle. Since there is nothing of interest in the hall, you look through the next door. Here you see another hall, also lit badly with torches. The door you opened is in the middle of the hall, and it dead-ends on both sides a ways down. On the other side of the wall from the door you entered are 4 very dimly lit alcoves. After looking at them for a moment, you realize they are cells. Three of the cells seem to be occupied by... something. The far left cell has a large, furry creature huddled in the corner on a pile of hay. In the next cell you see what looks to be a penguin wearing a continental styled hat, complete with a feather in the cap! He looks up at you as you open the door. The third cell is empty. The fourth cell is further down the hall, and there are no torches near it, so it is very dark and you cannot see what is there, but you hear a low growl coming from the cell, as well as what look to be broken plates and hay thrown out of the cell.
You realize you should probably check with one of the creatures held captive. You are not sure which to start with, and you don't really know if you have time to talk to multiple captives. Will you approach:
A: The furry creature huddled in the corner
B: The penguin with the feather in his cap
C: The empty room
D: The dark room in the corner with the noises coming from it
E: Decide not to talk to any of them and instead turn around, braving the entrance you saw the Bull Dog leave from.

(Next update is wednesday, so leave your reply before then.)

Duracell

2009-03-16T00:54:00.001-04:00

Battery powered buses. What will they think of next?

Elmo

2009-03-14T13:00:00.002-04:00

Ricky Gervais and Elmo , Steven Colbert and the Cookie Monster, really I think that Sesame Street characters are much better when NOT on Sesame Street.

Choose your own adventure: 10

2009-03-13T15:58:00.002-04:00

You think about either going back out into the hall where you heard what sounded like people talking, or searching the room for a hidden passage. You do have a knife now, and some badass gloves, but you still don't feel comfortable enough to take on whatever type of creature could be there. So instead you look around the room some more for a secret passage.

Lo and Behold, you do notice something suspicious. By the fireplace there seems to be one brick that is sticking out a bit more than others. You inspect it, and you think you can move it. So you give it a try.

You hear a very soft creak as the wall seems to move apart. Tally Ho! A secret passage. What luck!
You look down the passage, which is a very tight, straight line through the earth. There is no light in the passage, but you think you see some at the end. You decide to walk down it, but first close the door behind you. You move slowly in the dark, hoping not to bump into anything or make any loud noises, for as you get closer to the end of the passage you start to hear noises.

By the time you get to the other side of the passage you can distinctly make out a conversation. In front of you is a heavy dark cloth. If you were to venture a guess, you would think you are standing behind a tapestry? Why would you think that? You don't really know, but you decide to run with it. On the other side of the tapesty you can tell there is light, and multiple people discussing something. You decide to just listen for now. This is what you hear:

"...and there didn't ssseem to be anything elsse there, ssire." said one voice, from the left.
"So you, disposed, of the bodies and everything is in order?" said another, much deeper voice on the right.
"Y..Yes, gov'nor. We buried the corpses in th'dirt an' cleaneded up th' messes, justasyouasked, sir." said another voice, also from the left.
"Good. Good. And nothing can be traced back here?" said the voice on the right.
"No.. Sir." said one voice on the right.
"Well... er..." the other voice muttered
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" boomed the deeper voice on the right.
"Nothing Sir... It'ss jusst that..."
"WHAT? OUT WITH IT!"
"Well.. on our way back heress... We... saw some printss in the sandsss... Printss that weren't oursss, or yoursss...." said the voice whom you have now decided must be Greg, that tall lizard you passed by earlier. Strange, they seemed to have gone to that village, cleaned up all the blood and dead otters, and gotten back here in a very fast amount of time, you think to yourself.
"Where did the tracks lead?"
"They sseemed to lead sstraight into the secret doorsss..."
"So we have a spy in our lair?" You hear something knock over, and what sounds like someone being choked.
"It... it would appear ssso, m'lord." Greg sputters out.
"Grr. Nothing to do about it now," the leader says, and you hear something fall on the ground. "Fan out, alert everyone else, we have a spy in our midst. Find them and bring them to me."
"Yess Sir!" You hear both lizards say. Then you hear a door open and close.

You pause for a minute before you do anything. You need to be really really careful from here on, they know you are here, and from the looks of things, getting caught could be really bad. Death bad. You think of your options.
You could:
A: peek around the curtain and see where you are, hoping nothing is out there to see you.
B: jump out from behind the curtain, yelling about how you are the great scourge who has come to destroy all lizard people and bring justice to otters everywhere, allthewhile flailing your knife around.
C: use your knife to cut a small hole through the tapesty to see what is in the room, hopefully being sneaky enough to not be seen.
D: turn around and head back down the passage back to the room you were in before.
E: walk out from behind the passage with your hands in the air, surrendering.
F: Other options you can think of.

{Please post your option. The next update will be on monday, so vote before then.}

Choose your own adventure: 9

2009-03-11T23:27:00.005-04:00

You decide that light is better than noise, and head towards the light.

After turning the corner, you see a square room with brick walls and shelves across one wall. In the far corner you see a fire burning in a chimney. Above the fire there seems to be a small animal being cooked on a spit. Other than that dead animal, there is no one in the room. However, there are some chairs by the fire, and a table. On the table are some playing cards and some coins, as if someone had been playing cards, but then left quickly for some reason. You look at the cards. They seem to be very similar to regular playing cards you have used many times back in THE CITY, however, the face cards do not have human kings and queens, but dogs dressed up, as if a crude mockery of the monarchical system. The coins, too, do not look like any country's coinage you have seen before, and feature a giant eagle eating a snake on one side, and foreign lettering on the other.
You look around at everything else in the room. The shelves are mostly bear, there are some large sheets of paper on one shelf, and after looking at them, you notice that they seem to be wanted posters of some sort. While you cannot read the writing on them, it appears to be the same script as the coins, you do see two images of a face, one from the front and one from the side, of a large, ugly bulldog wearing a sombrero. The dog is sneering, and has large gashes on its face over its right eye. You look at it, and determine that the reward, from what you can tell, is 10,000 of what you think are whatever currency they use here, probably those coins you saw. All the paper in the stack are the same. Apparently they are fliers to be placed in towns or whatnot, you figure.
Also on another shelf you see a couple of candles, which are lit, and half burnt down. The wax is dripping onto the floor. Beside them you see a small key. You pick it up and put it in your secret pocket in your jeans.
On another shelf you see a small knife, like the kind you took on camping trips as a boy scout. It is in a leather sheaf. Beside them are some leather gloves with really cool looking skulls decorating them. Well, they would be really cool if you were in a biker gang or something. You decide that its about time to start, and if you start wearing the gloves, maybe next you will find a wicked awesome motorcycle you can steal too, since you are stealing all sorts of stuff now. Hopefully just not a Kawasaki Ninja. Gross.
Anyways, you loop the knife sheaf through your belt loop and put on the rad biker gloves.
You feel like a man now, you think to yourself. You gain a +2 to bad-ass-ness.

But you still need to do something. Afterall, it seems that whomever, or whatever was here did not finish their card game and definitely did not finish their roasted rat over there. Should you stay in the room, or head back out towards the noise earlier now that you have wicked gloves and a small knife? Or should you roll for a spot check on the room and see if there is anything you didn't see before, like a secret passage.

(Editor's Note: So I want to check with people about this choose your own adventure thingy. Are you enjoying it? Do you want me to keep doing it? How often do you want it updated? How long do you want it to be? I assume you want something to happen in the post, but do I make it too long? What do you want to see/ not want to see? Would a 3x a week update sound good? Like M/W/F? Thoughts/Comments/Feelings would be great.)

Kaki King

2009-03-11T23:07:00.003-04:00

Watch Kaki King and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

I almost forgot how amazing Kaki King is. It is strange that College Humor would be the one to remind me. Also, she apparently went to my rival high school. Grrr! If only I had known how awesome you would be in the FUT, we could have suppressed those high school rivalries together, Romeo and Juliet style. (I, of course, would be Juliet.)

Inappropriate

2009-03-11T16:41:00.001-04:00

Just think about it for a second.

Choose your own adventure: 8

2009-03-08T16:20:00.002-04:00

You decide to follow the footprints in the sand and find out what happened to the poor otters you saw butchered in their own homes. Afterall, the seawitch will always be there, and you don't currently hav any kelp, nor do you trust yourself to fish some out of the ocean. You start to follow the tracks as they lead south along the beach. You try to walk sneakily through the sand, however, it the moon is out in full and there is not a cloud in sight. You cannot see anything looking around, and hope that nothing can see you.

After walking some distance, the footprints take a sharp turn towards the cliffside. Following stealth-like, you notice how they seem to disappear into a cliff wall.

Obviously there is a secret passage here, you think to yourself. You fiddle around with the rock wall, looking for a secret lever or button or something. No such luck. Next you try secret words.
"Abrakadabra"
"Open Sesame"
"Mellon"

Nothing seems to work.
You sit down, exhausted, against the rock wall. You have spent an entire day climbing cliff walls rowing boats, finding dead otters and being terrified of giant birds, and it is late in the night. You try your best to stay awake, but sleep begins to overwhelm you again.

You start to dream, remembering more of the night before. You remember a girl at the bar you were at with your friends. You remember there was a girl, but for the life of you you cannot picture her face. You remember you couldn't keep your eyes off of her that night. Maybe it was because your life had just been ruined by your ex and your boss, or maybe it was... something else. And Jim. Now Jim was trying to tell you something. What was it? Was it about the girl? What...

Suddenly you wake up with a start. You hear voices coming, but as you look around, you don't see anything in the moon's light on the beach.
The secret passage! They must be coming from the secret passage, you realize. You run and hide behind a larger rock just as the passageway opens up. You watch as two large lizard-like... things... march out of the cliffside. They are both wearing some sort of armor and carrying spears. Other than their clothing and spears, they looked completely different. One was tall and thin, with long, sharp looking spikes down his back, starting on his head, where they were trimmed and brushed nicely, almost like hair. The other was short and squat, and almost looked more frog than lizard, except the tail. They seem to be talking to each other. You listen to what they are saying:
"Well Greg, I'da say a Gov'nor Brattel should just'a go fuchk hisself, if'a you ask me. Making us'a go march all'a way to harborton to clean up hiss'a mess." said the short one.
"Yess, well, Brattel has nvr wanted to get hiss hands dirty before. Its a wonder if he even killed them himselvess." said the groomed one. "Hold on, Bill, let me lock the door." The taller lizard then reached over to the wall and said: "Azile." The door then disappeared into the wall.

You watch the two lizards walk away north to the town you were just at. Luckily they are talking the whole time, and apparently don't notice your footprints in the sand. After they are out of sight, you decide to try to open the door again. You place your hand on the wall and say "Azile." The door opens with a shudder.

You look down and see darkness. It looks like a natural cave, with no light that you can see.
You walk inside and say "Azile" again, the door closes behind you. You stand there in complete darkness for a few minutes until your eyes begin to adjust. Finally you can see enough to walk around down there.
You walk forwards for a while, until you get to an intersection. To the left you think you can faintly hear noises, possibly voices? from far away. To the right there seems to possibly be more light, you aren't sure but you think maybe there is a torch or fire or something around the bend. There is no noise at all coming from the right that you can tell. Which way do you go?

I Wanna Play Video Games with This Guy

2009-03-08T12:57:00.000-04:00

I chose you

2009-03-07T18:02:00.001-05:00

Click the Photo and Learn Where to Find a Time Machine

2009-03-06T11:46:00.001-05:00

Choose your own adventure: 7

2009-03-05T12:06:00.002-05:00

You decide to row back to the shore and knock politely on the doors of the 5 shacks until you find someone who would give some kelp.
Back at the shore you walk up to the first house and lightly knock on the door. You don't know what to expect, or what you are going to ask, or how you are going to get kelp even if anyone has any, but you figure its the best idea you have.
You hear no answer, and no lights or noise from the other side of the door.
You knock a bit louder.
Still no answer.
You knock a bit louder.
The door creaks open a little. You peek inside.
At first you cannot see anything, as your eyes have not adjusted to the dark, but slowly you start to see the outlines of shapes. The first thing you see is a broken wooden table in the middle of the room. There is a cracked plate on the ground, some clams and a fish on the floor. In the corner is a shelf with some books that appear to have been torn up, and in the other corner is a bed, with the sheets all thrown about.
Oh yeah, and on the floor of the shack lies a giant dead otter. It has a dagger sticking out of its chest.
You look at it for a few minutes, not sure what to do. You look around the room, and find there is no kelp. Sigh. Next house.

You walk over to house number 2. This time you decide not to knock. If someone is there, they may think you killed the otter in the last house. Instead you roll for walk quietly and hide. Luck! You roll a 24. You are just glad you used dexterity as a dump stat.
You quietly crack the door open and look around. Guess what you see?
Yep. The same thing as the last house, but the dead otter is dressed differently, and sitting slouched in a chair with a dagger in it's back. You are starting to see a pattern.
You check the other 2 smaller houses and see a similar situation. You turn to the larger house, the one that had smoke coming out of it earlier. There is no smoke, nor light, now.

You quietly open the door to this shack, looking in. In the middle of this shack you see a large black cauldron with a strange, grotesque face carved on the front of it. Around the cauldron are 5 fur pelts. 4 of the pelts are stained with blood. One is clean. Again, no kelp. Walking back outside the shack you notice via the moonlight another pair of footprints in the sand, much smaller than yours, who look more like an animal than your converse prints.

You start to consider what you have seen, and inductively try to determine what happened here, a la Sherlock Holmes.
All you can guess is that whomever killed those poor otters stole all the kelp too.

You decide to come up with a new plan. You could follow the footprints, or you could row back out to sea and use the fishing pole and net to hopefully catch some kelp. Or you could just skip the kelp and chant for the sea witch without kelp.

Mad climbing skillz

2009-03-05T11:57:00.000-05:00

I've got a lot more. Deal with it people.

Intimidate

2009-03-04T09:42:00.000-05:00

All of these are based on real life experiences.

More Dungeons and Dragons

2009-03-02T23:23:00.003-05:00

These Dungeons and Dragons comics are really fun to draw. They are also all completely true.

Choose your own adventure: 6

2009-03-01T18:54:00.002-05:00

You decide that of all the options that crazy bird gave you, traveling out to sea to meet a sea witch seems like the best one. I mean, libraries are cool and all, but kinda boring; and who wants to climb down a well anyways?
So you meander on down the cliffside you just climbed up and head over to the small village you passed by earlier, remembering there were some canoes tied up there. It is now night, and you notice that none of the shacks have any light or noise coming from them. You decide to sneak past them anyways, as apparently you don't like talking to people, and you untie a canoe. As you start to row out to sea, you remember the black bird's directions for contacting the sea witch. You need kelp to throw out your boat. But where are you going to get some kelp? You weigh your options. You could:
A: row back to the land, knock on a door and ask for some.
B: row back to the land, sneak around in a shack and steal some.
C: use a fishing pole and net and see if you can catch some out at sea.
D: Ignore the bird's directions and look for the sea witch without the kelp.

What do you do?

My Character

2009-02-28T19:20:00.002-05:00

More Dungeons and Dragons nonsense. I just noticed that I have a couple of drawings from almost a month ago now that I forgot to load, so I will do those soon.
(The joke is we push me down the stairs and I knock out all the enemies like they were bowling pins. I am now not sure if I made the joke obvious enough... Sigh.)

White Wedding: Literal Version

2009-02-26T18:27:00.001-05:00

White Wedding: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

SPOILER ALERT!

2009-02-24T22:10:00.000-05:00

We have all heard of the new Thor movie in production, right?
Well apparently Thor has been cast!

Choose your own adventure: 5

2009-02-24T16:15:00.003-05:00

You consider your options towards the giant black bird looming over you on the cliff-side. You consider punching the bird, or yanking out its eyeball, but apparently the bird has rolled a D-20 in intimidate and instead you almost wet yourself.
Instead you decide to politely ask the bird if you can help it.
It responds in a very dignified British accent: "You, my dear sir, are in my chair."

The bird steps back and allows you to stand up and remove yourself from its rocking chair. As you quickly move out of the way, you notice that the bird was not as scary as you originally thought. It seems to be quite refined and old. It also seems to be wearing a black vest, which you did not notice at first, what with it being right in your face before.

"Sorry if I gave you a scare just then, old chap. I flew down to watch the setting sun and saw something in my chair. I did not mean to startle you, but my eyesight is not what it once was," he states as he removes a monocle from his pocket of his vest and places it over his left eye.
"Now then, what have we here?" He states as he looks closely up and down you.
"A human? Really? I haven't seen one of those in... 246 years I believe."

You think to ask the bird what he means, as you know a lot of humans, in fact some of your best friends are human, but you are still in such a shock that a giant bird just spoke to you and is wearing a very nice vest, that you only manage to mumble out: "uuuh"

"Now Mr. Human, if you would kindly, what is your name?" the bird asks.
You stare at it for a few minutes.
"Out with it now."

"Mmmy... My name... sir... is Mike. Mike Jones." You manage to string together.

"Mike Mike Jones. Not a very refined name, but I guess you aren't a very cultured fellow, are you Mike Mike Jones?" the bird states, as it sits down in its rocking chair. "MY name, if you would care so much to know, is Jean Henry Waddsfellow the third. My father was Jean Henry Waddsfellow the second, a scholar of great note, and his father was Jean Henry Waddsfellow the first, the dean of the Waddsfellow's school for gifted Fledglings. HIS father was THE Sir Charles Luke Waddenfallen, of Austria, a poor farmer who left his country for adventure and fame. He is best known for slaying the famed hairless woolly mamouth of the Savannah and taming the spotted weregoose of Slaughter Swamp, among other things. The weregoose adventure was a particularly great story. It started off when my dear great-grandfather was traveling through the duchey of Doiron, long long winters past..."

The bird continues on for some time, telling of strange adventures involving animals you are sure do not exist, just as you are sure that a giant talking bird wearing a vest could not exist. Despite your nervous apprehention of the bird, you start to fall alseep to his monotone stories. Afterall, you did just climb a very steep and tall cliff.

Around 3 hours later you wake to the bird poking you with its feathers. "Sir, I understand that some people have claimed in the past to have a disease called narcolepsy, but please! I was just getting to the best part, when my great-grandfather, Sir Charles, was about to slay the one eyed Hydra-wolf, when instead he decided to tame it and give it as a pet to the nephew of his one true love, the beautiful late Maribelle of Avendale. Anyways, it is no loss of mine if a man of your culture cannot appriciate such a story. There are many others who would sell their fortunes to hear such a story. I guess I shall be off to meet with them instead. Farewell, sir. I hope in the future you will not be sitting in my rocking chair, dirtying it with your mud-covered hands and clothes. I wish you well on your future endevors, however. Never let it be said that Jean Henry Waddsfellow was one to hold a grudge."

You decide that this is your moment, as the bird seems to be about to fly off. You ask it, as politely as you can where you are and how you got there, and how you could get back home again.

"You are from THE CITY and somehow woke up in the middle of a corn field on this island you say? That is mighty unusual, and I guess that I will allow your confusion to be the reason you are acting so... base. I do not know if I have the knowledge to help you on your adventure, however, I would recommend that you travel to the great library of Hodge in the town of Ellestria. It is about a day's travel North of here, just on the other side of that mountain you see in the distance.
Or you could try asking the sea-witch. She lives out in the ocean to the East. She seems to know more than most, although she speaks with horribly vulgar language, and is quite undignified. The best way to get in touch with her is to row out to sea, throw some kelp in a circle around the boat and chant: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
Another option, although this is one I would not recommend to my mother, Allah rest her soul, is to travel West of here. By the edge of the forest you should find an old, decripit well. If you climb down the well, you will find some... er... people, who have lived below ground since time began. They know all about the world and how to get from one place to another, but I really can't say I trust their kind. Although it may be because I am of the air, and they are of the earth. Opposites tend to cause conflict. Although that does remind me of one story, where my great-grandfather fell in love with the princess of the mole men, well I guess in today's society we should call them "mole people..."
He continues on for some time about some princess needing to be rescued from the dark underworld, and how his great-grandfather would travel from dungeon to dungeon, only to find that the princess was not there, but in another castle somewhere else far away, or something. You honestly stopped listening a while ago. But you do decide you need to go somewhere. Where do you go? To the library in Ellestria, to meet the sea-witch or down into the earth via the well west of here?

Blood Harvest

2009-02-23T21:44:00.003-05:00

I figured this was mildly appropriate as I am about to play Left 4 Dead. But seriously, how come there are only white zombies? Is it racist to kill minority zombies or something?

Bacon Lip-Balm

2009-02-22T23:56:00.002-05:00

Thank you God.

Now all I need is bacon flavored edible underwear, and my hot, sweaty bacon dreams are complete.

Buffy, Abridged

2009-02-22T00:03:00.003-05:00

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer (Abridged)

I always wondered what would be the absolutely WORST way to try to convince someone who has never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer to watch it. I think this is it.
Granted, if you are a fan, its a good video, it sums up all seven seasons in the space of 3 minutes and 10 seconds, but if you don't already have that... connection... with Buffy, then all this video does it make the show look like a really bad sci-fi TV show from the early 90s (I'm looking at you, Sliders). Anywhen, you should still watch it.

When am I?

2009-02-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

I don't think any comment is needed. Or I guess in the words of the great Stan "The Man" Lee: 'Nuff Said.

Sep-Poo-Ku

2009-02-21T14:51:00.003-05:00

Don't Shit Your Pants is a "survival horror game" based on such fun old colecovision-esque text games. Your only goal: to not shit your pants. It's awesome. There are 10 different possible endings, I dare you to try them all.

Bacon flowchart

2009-02-21T00:43:00.003-05:00

I think I post so much about bacon only because I find it so incredibly gross, and the idea that people actually like bacon I find humorous. Like take this bacon flow chart for example. It has to be ironic, right? There aren't people who actually think this flow chart makes sense. Right?

FOUND.

2009-02-20T15:24:00.007-05:00

Found Magazine is a print magazine (with an internet counterpart) that showcases pictures, notes, loveletters, and the occasional booger found by the average citizen. I could spend hours sorting through the archives of found objects on their site - and I will. And so to honor you, dear reader, I will post an example of the best of the found at least once weekly. Enjoy.
ok, i can't help it. here's another example, too.
and last one, i promise.

Choose your own adventure: 4-realz!

2009-02-20T11:09:00.001-05:00

Since you have been climbing such a steep cliff, you are a bit tired, and decide to sit down in the rocking chair.
So you sit down, and rock back and forth, looking out to sea, as the pleasant sea breeze blows across your face. Rocking back and forth. And back and forth. You think to yourself how peaceful it is up here, and start to think about the past, and how everything that was so stressful yesterday has completely disappeared now that you are on some island, not knowing how you got there.

You think back to yesterday...
You remember waking up to the sound of your alarm going off, much earlier than you think it should have been. You rose out of bed and slipped on a condom wrapper, hitting your head on the side of the bed. Dazed, you stand up. Condom wrapper? Oh yeah, last night. "I must have been pretty drunk," you say to yourself as you look around the room. Something seems to be missing. Well, besides your girlfriend. Usually she is still asleep, as she works as a barista at night. By her nightstand you find a note. Picking it up, you unfortunately read it: "Dearest Mike. This isn't working. You are a boy, and I need a man. Plus, the sex isn't very good. (You nod your head in agreement to this as you read it.) Please don't come back to Stonestore looking for me, and I think it would be best if we never talk again. Also, I needed some cab fare, so I took some money from your wallet. I hope this is ok. Peace out! - Deborah."

You look down at your wallet and notice that what used to be filled with 300 dollars american you had just taken from the ATM is now empty. Your subway card, which had one more stamp to go is also missing! That bitch!

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, the shower wouldn't get hot enough, you went to work, were yelled at by your boss who threatened to fire you, again. You know the boss, the one with the godawful Tom Selleck mustache, bald head and grease stains on his tie. Then you called up your friends and asked them to go out drinking with you that night. Of course you didn't go to Stonestore, that would have been a terrible idea. Jim recommends you try Ulysses, and you all meet up there at 9. You remember having a couple of drinks, and Jim suggested something to you. What was it? It seemed like a great idea for someone with as shitty a life as you have, or I guess had... Why can't you remember what it was? Maybe if you really concentrate on it...

KAW KAW KAW!

You jump up startled, apparently you had dozed off, but now there is a giant black bird that has landed on the cliffside in front of you! Holy Shit! You fall back, almost tipping the rocking chair over and tumbling down the cliff. Almost. You look at the bird in sheer terror. It looms over you, its black feathers glisten in the setting sun, and casts a dark shadow over all of you. (Which is strange, because doesn't the sun usually set in the west?) It's horribly mangled beak, probably used for breaking open shells for more years than you have been alive, is now just inches away from your face. It looks at you with its black eyes, slightly glazed over with slight cataracts, staring, never blinking, for what feels like hours. You really don't want to move, you really don't want to do anything. But for some reason, even with this crazy bird all up in your space, you still would trade this life for your previous one.

Finally, like 3 hours later, you decide you should do something. What should you do?

True story sweartogod

2009-02-19T14:13:00.000-05:00

More D&D nonsense.

Choose my own adventure: 4 me

2009-02-18T23:04:00.004-05:00

You decide to head east towards the ocean. You walk too far and fall from atop the cliff onto sharp, jagged rocks. You are dead. Your slowly decomposing corpse begins its descent towards the depths of the dark, indifferent sea. Suddenly, what appears to be small lightning bolts illuminate off in the distance. Your body is soon discovered by a gang of mermen riding electric-eel-motorcycles.

"Well, well, well. Look at what the tide dragged in." says the first merman. He grabs your corpse and ties it to the back of his bad-ass electric eel motorcycle that's so majestic that it's quite obvious he is their leader.

They ride their bikes back to Atlantis to look for a secluded place where they can rape your corpse. They find an ally and go to town on your orifices.

"Poseidon!" one gang member yells out in ecstasy, "this butthole is tighter than any of those Chinese finger-traps we found floating around. This is making my anterior fin so damn dry." He rubs some sand on his junk and finishes in a way that makes the ocean substantially more salty.

After each member has their turn, they leave to go eat sushi.

The end.

Choose your own adventure: 3

2009-02-18T22:43:00.002-05:00

You decide that approaching the houses to see if there is anyone home who could tell you where you are and how you got to where you are is a terrible idea, and instead head North towards the cliff.
It takes you about an hour to climb the cliff, not only is it tall, but also steep. You slip a couple of times and slide almost to where you started from, but you are nothing if not determined, and you finally make it up to the top of the cliff, overlooking the ocean. From there you can see out to sea. It appears to be a nice, sunny day, and you cannot see anything but ocean for miles.
Also, strangely enough, there seems to be a rocking chair at the top of the cliff.

To the North you can see the cliff continues on for a while, with sharp rocks below it.
To the West is the edge of the forest you had seen before, and beyond it a large mountain. (Just thinking of climbing again makes you tired).
To the South is the village you decided to ignore.
To the East is the ocean, via sharp, jagged rocks.

What would you like to do?

Choose your own adventure: 2

2009-02-17T19:59:00.001-05:00

Ignoring the foreboding forest and mountain beyond it, you decide to head East. Afterall, you still feel a bit confused, and climbing a mountain doesn't seem to be the most reasonable idea you could have.
You wander Eastwards, and after a while find the corn field ends and you find yourself looking down on a clearing. You see a very small village in front of you, with 5 houses. Well, houses are probably not the best word for it, as they appear more like shacks, with thatched roofs and mud paths between them. The houses sit in a semi-circle facing away from you and towards an open body of water. It appears to be an ocean, which is funny, as the last place you remember being at was THE CITY, which is land-locked and far from any water.

You pause for a moment, and realize that the sounds you had heard which you first thought were cars is really the waves crashing on the shore. The smoke seems to be coming from the chimney of the largest of the houses, still only the size of your small apartment in THE CITY.

The harbor seems to stretch out for a while, taking a sharp turn to the North, with a tall cliff. Beyond that you cannot see anything.
To the South is a pier with a few small canoes and one decrepit looking sailboat.
To the East is the ocean, you can't really go any farther that way.
To the West is the corn field you came from.

You have a couple of options, you could try approaching the village, perhaps entering a house (vote house 1-5 in that case. House 1 is the one with smoke rising from the chimney) or go somewhere else. Or you can suggest another option.

D&D

2009-02-17T18:07:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I am THAT kind of nerd.
Also, I apologize for the lateness of comics recently. I have had sketches for a bunch done, but I slacked off on inking them. I've got a stack inked now, so they should come more often.

2009-02-17T17:05:00.000-05:00

Another serving

2009-02-17T05:04:00.000-05:00

To stick with the bacon theme we have had going here at Time is a Loop, I present to you: Glow in the Dark Bacon T-Shirts! So you can always think about bacon, even in the middle of the night. For an extra twist, wear this shirt while sleeping, and wake up to freshly cooked bacon.

Time is a Loop, the choose your own text based adventure, part 1

2009-02-16T13:11:00.006-05:00

8888888*****888*****888*****888***888888
***88********888*****88*88*88*88***88*****
***88********888*****88**888**88***88*****
***88********888*****88***8****88***888888
***88********888*****88********88***88*****
***88********888*****88********88***88*****
***88********888*****88********88***888888

*8***88888*******88******
*8***8***********8**8*****
*8***88888*****88888****
*8********8*****8****8****
*8***88888*****8****8****

888**********888888*********888888*******888888
888*********8*******8*******8*******8******8*****88
888*********8*******8*******8*******8******8*****88
888*********8*******8*******8*******8******888888
888*********8*******8*******8*******8******8
888*********8*******8*******8*******8******8
8888888*****888888*********888888*******8

----THE TEXT-BASED ADVENTURE----
version 2.1

EPISODE 3
*In which our hero learns of the fate of his loved ones, and determines to right wrongs. And lefts.*

**** *******
****** ****
********* *
You wake up in a field of newly harvested corn stalks. You are terribly confused as to why and how you are where you are. The last thing you remember is celebrating New Year's Eve with your close friends on the top of your apartment building, watching the fireworks explode into shimmering rain above your head. "I must have had too much to drink," you think as you rise to your feet. But where am I? How did I get in a corn field? I live in THE CITY.
You feel about your person, and realize that all your possessions you had on you before are missing. You look around on the ground, but there is nothing there except:
- 1 ball of twine, about 50 feet all rolled up in a ball
- 1 book of matches, only 3 matches are left, and they look a little soggy, having been laying in mud
- 2 cigarettes, which is weird because you don't smoke
- 1 sock. (You are wearing two yourself, so you don't know whose that is. It is blue.)

You decide to look around and survey your surroundings.
To the North you see a forest, and a large mountain in the distance beyond it.
To the West you see the corn field stretches on for miles.
To the South there is a large hill, so you cannot see far, but you hear noises, what you think could be cars driving by.
To the East you see smoke in the distance, and more of the same noise.

Now dear adventurer, what do you do?
(Please leave a comment with your choice. The most votes will determine the choice. You can vote multiple times.)

Etsy listing of the week

2009-02-16T10:46:00.000-05:00

Crocheted Penguins! Shop AllAboutKendra features crocheted elephants, octopi, and pigs. But it also features penguins, and if we have learned anything from children's movies over the last few summers, penguins are the cutest.

Time is a Preview

2009-02-16T00:17:00.004-05:00

Coming this Future! Time is a Loop productions brings you
a Time is a Loop preview
of the Time is a Loop the Show!
I can't wait for The Future!
Luckily, time is a loop, so it has all been made already.
Whew. I was worried I would be having to do a lot of work.

Orphaned by the world, raised by the streets, Jesse Sanchez is a dangerous martial artistand the world's greatest homeless skateboarder

2009-02-15T14:06:00.000-05:00

Street Angel is a comic about... well my words will not do it justice. Let me quote the author, Jim Rugg: "In the worst ghetto on earth, a young, homeless orphan rules the streets with her fearsome kung fu and deadly skateboarding. Jesse "Street Angel" Sanchez fights ninja gangs, evil geologists, nepotism, ancient gods, homework, and hunger while perpetually seeking the Holy Grail of cardboard boxes." How can you beat that? Apparently by making a trailer!

It's about time

2009-02-14T19:05:00.000-05:00

What the...?

2009-02-14T10:30:00.000-05:00

Here's To Spending the Day with Your Candy Person of Choice

2009-02-14T00:20:00.000-05:00

forget lolcats.

2009-02-10T23:08:00.004-05:00

ok, i could never forget about lolcats. but i want a fox. NOW.

http://www.flurl.com/video/32849236_foxes_jumpin

Paul Rudd: Action Hero(?)

2009-02-10T22:26:00.000-05:00

This post might just feature too much geekyness.

2009-02-10T13:56:00.000-05:00

Apparently there is an entire site devoted to "things people have made that are devoted to Joss Whedon shows." There are some cool stuffs there, like paintings of Spike's head, or Captain Hammer MyLittlePonies, but a cross-stitch of one of the best songs from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog has to be one of the coolest things there.
Also, don't forget, Dollhouse, his new show, premiers friday.

She's running out the door

2009-02-10T11:43:00.000-05:00

I remember where I was when I heard that Amanda Palmer died. It wasn't in the audience watching her play this, but I wish it twere. Amanda Palmer's Cabaresque (yes that is now a word) performances are great and all, but I'm not sure there is anyone else out there who can cover "Creep" by Radiohead on only an ukelele and make it amazing.

i know i want to cuddle with this.

2009-02-09T23:38:00.003-05:00

LoudDreams blog showcases 2 dozen examples of ridiculous (-ly amazing) pillows.

Everything is God. question mark.

2009-02-09T20:04:00.004-05:00

Some of you may have heard about the atheist bus advertisements that have created some controversy in the UK recently. I personally have enjoyed them, but webcomic-er of WTTF (what the the fuck) has provided some amusing alternatives for those of us who are neither Christian-God-fearing nor no-God-believing. My favorite? The physicist bus advertisement.

get ready to pee yourself.

2009-02-09T19:59:00.001-05:00

this is one of the greatest images i have ever seen.
(found with stumble)

WTF. continued.

2009-02-09T19:52:00.003-05:00

i know, but i'm not telling.
(found through Stumble. if you dont know about stumble, beware, for it will take over your life.)

I'm on a boat, motherf_cker

2009-02-09T00:20:00.002-05:00

For centuries great poets have attempted to record the thrill of sailing through ocean waters. But finally, T-Pain, Andy, and Akiva have succeeded in verbalizing the awe of the open seas for boat enthusiasts everywhere. Find more SNL here.

Headbang Hero

2009-02-08T23:12:00.001-05:00

Awesome? Or WICKED AWESOME!!